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Watch The Terrifying Trailer For Jason Statham's New Movie "The Meg"

PLOT SUMMARY: 

An international superstar footballer (Lionel Messi), having nutmegged everyone and everything there was to nutmeg in his career, embarks on a quest to nutmeg a mermaid. He travels to the deepest parts of the ocean, places humanity hasn't even explored yet, because that is where mermaids live.

He befriends a team of scientists on a submarine in hopes they can get him close enough to a mermaid to nutmeg it.

On his journey, he is dogged by a big vicious bitey shark (Luis Suarez) and a government agent intent on bringing him to justice for tax evasion (Mark Clattenburg). Also, one of the scientists (Gonzalo Higuain) bumbles his way into causing an earthquake and accidentally unleashes all manner of hell on planet Earth that the footballer has to deal with in addition to his mermaid business.

The fish man from "The Shape of Water" reprises his role as Fish Man, but he is not the mermaid Messi is out to nutmeg. That is a surprise. 

(It's Sergio Ramos)

WILL MESSI FINALLY NUTMEG A MERMAID? TUNE IN TO FIND OUT.

OK here is the real trailer. My life didn't really begin until I heard Jason Statham say "My God, it's Megalodon."

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