Sepp Blatter Is Pissed He Only Got 120 Of His 200 Watches He Left At His Former FIFA Office

Sepp Blatter just won’t fucking go away.

Now he’s begging for some watches. 

Blatter, the disgraced former president of FIFA, who was forced out after finally getting caught being corrupt even though he still maintains 100 percent innocence as executives around him have been arrested left and right, is not a likable man. There’s a reason he’s 83, super rich and single. No one wants to be near him.

He’s sexist, racist, misogynistic, elitist and he has an ugly face. He’s called for women to wear shorter shorts, he was accused of sexual assault by USWNT legend Hope Solo, he allowed human-rights abusers Russia and Qatar to host the world’s biggest event back to back.

And now this man who deserves no sympathy is begging for sympathy — and to get some stupid fucking watches back.

Embed from Getty Images

According to the New York Times, Sepp Blatter is planning to sue FIFA — the organization that banned him from soccer for six years — for the return of 80 watches. Blatter claims he was not able to retrieve all of his personal belongings from his Zurich office when he was suspended by FIFA in 2015. 

These luxury watches from brands you’ve never heard of unless you have $5,000 to $20,000 to blow on a stupid wrist piece you’ll never look at because you’ve got a cell phone and that does a pretty good job of keeping time, are part of a collection Blatter has amassed throughout his career, which began when he worked at Swiss watchmaker Longines.

Blatter was given back 120 watches last year, but the bloated bloviator claims that collection didn’t include his “high technology collection,” which contains pieces as expensive as $20,000 and probably totals more than half a million dollars in value.

Plus there’s the sentimental value Blatter claims, but a man who allowed FIFA to become as corrupt as it was (and most probably dipped his fingers in the pot plenty himself) deserves no sentimentality. 

Blatter’s comments on his stupid fucking watches make him appear even more out of touch with reality, like the rogue president who thinks he’s above the law he once was. (Maybe that’s where the U.S. president gets it?)

“This is a question of respect, and I’ve reached the end of my temper,” Blatter said. “I think it’s not too much to ask to give me back personal belongings.”

This from a man who lives in an apartment he rents from FIFA.

Embed from Getty Images

Blatter also claims he’s due pension payments from FIFA, a dubious claim if you think laws should be followed or believe FIFA’s side of the story. 

To make matters more laughable, Blatter still wants FIFA to clear his name, which would be a lie (again, Trump parallels, but I digress). 

 “I’m not going to die about (the money),” Blatter said, “but I want to die in dignity, and I want them to say I was not a thief in FIFA.”

I think we’re long past the point of dignity for old Sepp.

For its part, FIFA has claimed to have given Blatter all that he is legally owed. FIFA deputy secretary general Alasdair Bell said Blatter was given all the watches he requested and Blatter signed a receipt before later claiming some of the watches were missing. 

It wouldn’t be the first time a disgraced FIFA official left behind valuable personal belongings at FIFA offices. Chuck Blazer, a corrupt FIFA official banned for life in 2015 after he became an FBI informant, died in 2017, leaving behind a vintage Mercedes that still remains in a FIFA parking garage (not to mention a NYC penthouse for his cats). 

Watches have long been at the center of FIFA corruption investigations, such as when dozens of officials were given watches worth $26,000 by the organizers of the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. My personal favorite is former FIFA vice president Jeffrey Webb, who coughed up 11 luxury watches along with three cars, 10 properties and his wife’s freaking wedding ring to meet his $10 million bond when he was arrested for racketeering and bribery in 2015. 

Football is a sport of the masses, a game played equally by the poorest countries and the richest. It brings people together through love of the beautiful game and yet here are the supposed guardians of the game amassing obscene amounts of wealth most humans can’t even fathom, complaining about the loss of one of dozens of watches that each are worth more than many football fans make in a year. 

If Sepp Blatter really wants dignity back, he’d stop asking for his stupid fucking watches.