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Spotify Wrapped dropped this month, showing listeners what songs and artists they looked up and listened to the most (my number one artist was Don Toliver if you’re curious). If Google had a similar wrapped project, I guarantee you that “crazy soccer flares” would’ve been in my top 100 searches for all of the past five years.
There’s something about a wall of fire that is exceptionally intimidating to look at. Any time — prior to 2020 that is — I see fans of South American or European clubs ignite their flares and sing rapturous chants I get envious.
On Saturday Slovenian club NK Maribor celebrated its 60th anniversary with a slew of flares and pyrotechnics which lit the night sky in a warm red glow.
FC #Maribor is 60 years old. I didn't know that yesterday evening when I found myself surrounded by guys with #torches and magnificent #fireworks. Happy Birthday! #viole #football #mismomaribor #celebration #show #bridge #beauty #ThisIsSloveniahttps://t.co/AeC5WtATbU pic.twitter.com/bs9ina4YLl
— Matija Nose (@TheMatN) December 13, 2020
Imagine if sports fans in the U.S. celebrated with this energy and FLARES!
NFL players would absolutely piss their pants if every fan doing the Tomahawk chop inside Arrowhead Stadium had a bright red flare in their hand.
There have been instances in MLS where flares were utilized, but these efforts were almost always underwhelming.
The unfortunate reality is that American fans have a hard time coordinating “the wave” at sporting events, so it’s highly unlikely that they could safely light flares. The most probable outcome would be headlines such as “Las Vegas Raiders blow 21-point lead while fan blows off 8 fingers in flare accident.”
Flare incidents do happen every so often in South America and Europe. Last year, some poor guy in Brazil blew off a good chunk of his hand when his flare exploded in his hand. That would definitely be a mood killer at an NFL game if you were eating nachos and then someone’s thumb landed in your queso.
Alas, I doubt we’ll ever see any flare spectacles at a U.S. sporting event in my lifetime. I guess I’ll just have to Google “crazy soccer flares” again and watch some Olympiacos fans set their stadium on fire.
