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We spent over a decade thinking Lionel Messi was Cristiano Ronaldo's biggest nemesis, but how wrong we were: the player's real enemy is no other than the wrinkles surrounding his eyes.
He hates them.
I know it sounds egregious, but we have proof.
Cristiano scores a bazillion goals every season and keeps his body in perfect shape, masking the fact he's already 38. But he's no fool. He knows that the passage of time is ruthless, and he's very conscious of it.
Cristiano Ronaldo hates wrinkles
Take, for instance, his last game against Iceland.
Ronaldo scored a last-gasp winner while celebrating a record-breaking 200 games for Portugal, making people think he's perennial.
However, seconds after being interviewed on TV, a hot mic gave us a glimpse of his fears and enemies.
The TV camera went too close to Cristiano's face, and the player let escape a desperate plea: "Not too close, eh! Too many wrinkles."
Cristiano Ronaldo: ““Not too close, eh! Too many wrinkles” ❤️
— CristianoXtra (@CristianoXtra_) June 21, 2023
He was not mad nor being a prick. The tone was light, even self-deprecating, so people could think he was joking. Sure, he's vain, but how he said it makes it look like he's not more superficial than any other person.
However, when I searched "Cristiano Ronaldo wrinkles" on Google, I discovered this was not the first time he had referenced the wrinkles around his eyes.
Do you remember the infamous bust in his honor at the airport in Madeira, Portugal?
Four years since this Cristiano Ronaldo statue was unveiled at Madeira airport pic.twitter.com/WbHwEumY6h
— GOAL (@goal) March 29, 2021
Well, while the whole world was making jokes about how bad it was, Cristiano Ronaldo said to the sculptor Emanuel Santos that he liked the result of his work, except for... the wrinkles.
"He only asked for some wrinkles to be changed because they gave him a certain expression on his face when he's about to laugh," the artist said to Portuguese media. "He said it made him look older and asked for it to be thinned out a bit to make it smoother and more jovial."
So, there you go. His real enemy is those darn wrinkles.
And I understand him. You don't know how much I understand him.
