USMNT

The United States are through to the Gold Cup semifinals, but the real story on Wednesday night was the erotic interplay between USMNT striker Jozy Altidore and his tight man-to-man marker, El Salvador’s Henry Romero.

The City of Brotherly Love was truly feeling the heat yesterday evening as Romero pinched and twisted Altidore’s nipple and took a nice little chomp on his shoulder for good measure. Romero was booked in the 81st minute, but he kept Altidore off the scoresheet for 90 minutes, so mission accomplished.

Despite a litany of mistakes from the back four and very hungry El Salvador defense, the USMNT is through to the semifinals of the CONCACAF Gold Cup. The 2-0 scoreline perhaps flattered the USA, but a win's a win.

Omar Gonzalez opened the scoring off a set piece, for his second goal of the tournament.

It’s like Superman wearing a green cape or Cristiano Ronaldo without perfectly manicured hair — there’s just something off. 

When the U.S. plays in the Gold Cup quarterfinals on Wednesday, a few national team veterans won’t look quite right in the red, white and blue. Their numbers will be all wrong.

When Bruce Arena called up a few of his top veterans to bolster the USMNT for the Gold Cup knockout rounds, Clint Dempsey, Michael Bradley and others joined a squad that had already doled out the first 23 jersey numbers. 

With one powerful blast of his left foot, Dom Dwyer’s chances to make an even bigger statement with the U.S. men’s national team took a blow, the Nicaraguan keeper guessing correctly to keep the American’s penalty kick out. 

The English-born U.S. international scored in his first two appearances for USMNT, but Dwyer couldn’t convert from the spot in his third appearance on Saturday. The next day he was dropped from the team for the remainder of the Gold Cup. Now the 26-year-old striker will be wondering what could have been.

The CONCACAF Gold Cup quarterfinal match-ups are set. Only eight teams remain. Let's check them out:

July 19: Costa Rica vs. Panama

Time: 6:00 p.m. EST

Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

TV: FOX Sports 1, Univision

Match-up: Costa Rica finished first in Group A, and Panama finished second in Group B. Costa Rica thrives on an organized defense and the creativity of Benfica midfielder Bryan Ruiz on offense. Panama's top players include Porto forward Ismail Diaz and NYCFC midfielder Miguel Camargo.

It is now time to take the CONCACAF Gold Cup seriously. A Gold Cup rule allows managers to make up to six changes between the group and knockout stages, and USMNT manager Bruce Arena is bringing in his all-time leading goalscorer, his number one goalkeeper, his captain, his top striker and Darlington Nagbe, who's probably the best player of the bunch.

From USSoccer.com:

Hey it's the CONCACAF Gold Cup! Fun!

No. Not fun. Not fun for people who must watch this product. The soccer is bad at the Gold Cup. Real bad. Even the USMNT, the host nation and one of the favorites, is a shadow of itself. This is a soccer wasteland.

Let's see what some of our colleagues in soccer media had to say about the USMNT's thrilling 3-2 win against Martinique:

On Saturday, Dom Dwyer scored his second goal in as many appearances for the USMNT. In doing so, he gave the USA a (temporary) 1-0 lead over Panama in the 2017 CONCACAF Gold Cup. Panama eventually scored to draw 1-1 with the USA.

More significantly, Dwyer became the ninth player in U.S. history to achieve the feat of scoring a goal in each of his first two games for the national team.