If there is one thing that has never been in short supply in the life of Mario Balotelli, it’s haters. The combination of his large personality, perceived arrogance, and talent level means that he is just as likely to piss off an entire stadium as he is to bring it to its feet in celebration. The fact that he lives in the first “hater generation,” as rapper Wale so eloquently put it, doesn’t help. Social media is nothing if not a bastion for ignorant hatred, and of all the celebrities who operate in the space Balotelli probably receives the worst of it.

It’s easy to see why Manchester United are so keen to land PSV Eindhoven’s Dutch winger Memphis Depay. The 21-year-old, who made a handful of eye-catching cameo appearances for The Netherlands at last year’s World Cup, is the Eredivisie’s leading scorer with 16 goals from midfield, and notched up another 13 last season. When The18 asked its Eredivisie scout (honestly, we have one) who "the next big thing" to come out of Holland will be, Depay was the first name on the list (and our scout's a Feyenoord supporter), in no small part because of goalscoring feats such as these:

You might want to sit down, Liverpool fans, this is a real heart-stopper. The biggest Liverpool stars past and, possibly, present are about to play the charity match of your dreams. You will be amazed. You will be shocked. Some of you just might be slightly aroused, and we say that because that is a perfectly normal reaction considering the kind of star power that will be gracing the pitch on March 29th. 

This past Sunday, Philippe Coutinho’s wonder strike against Southampton won BBC Match Of The Day’s Goal of the Month competition by an unprecedented margin. It was a low point in a year defined by abject despair. It made the uploading of his goal against Manchester City to PornHub look like a tastless joke. 

This video made an appearance on the notorious XXX site, PornHub, after someone (presumably a Liverpool fan) uploaded the video under the category “Pure Filth.” It was a fitting, if unorthodox catagorization.

The subject matter of the video is a goal Philippe Coutinho scored this past Sunday that would impress any finger-wagging NFL fan.

The Academy Awards Ceremony, one of the biggest, most elite social gatherings in the world, is about to take place. The thought of all that impending pomp and circumstance got us to thinking: what would the Oscars be like if they were given out not for the best in the world of cinema, but for the best in the world of soccer?

What match would win Best Picture? Who would win Best Actor? Would you even want to win Best Actor? 

As it turns out no, no you don’t...but you’ll find out all about that soon enough. 

Harry Kane might as well be the second coming of Jesus Christ. He’s a home town kid, a Spur from birth, and at 21 years of age he is having the kind of run that makes you believe in Providence. 

It’s the 80^th minute. Everton and Liverpool are locked in a lackluster battle, and if any Merseyside Derby can be called lackluster it’s this one. But something’s got to give. There’s going to be a wild finish. You can feel it.

Plenty of Saturday’s matches around Europe were mighty fun. Atletico beat Real by four (4) goals. Harry Kane beat Arsenal late in London. Dortmund moved out of the bottom of the daunting Bundesliga. Then, in other news, Liverpool’s nil-nil draw with Everton was a thorough snooze-fest. 

Liverpool have suffered a series of nadirs over the 2014-15 season, culminating in their 3-0 humbling at the hands of Manchester United in December. Yet, since that performance at Old Trafford, Brendan Rodgers’ men are unbeaten in the league and have picked up 17 from a possible 21 points in their last seven games. Had the league started on Christmas Day, Liverpool would be top of the table.