He was going through yet more hardship at Manchester United after struggling last season at Real Madrid. It seemed like de ja vu, only worse, because of the simple fact that he was back to square one, regressing. At Real Madrid he at least took one step forward by virtue of leaving Manchester United for a bigger club, which made his struggles understandable and eventual success more respectable. Struggling back at United made it seem like he had lost everything he had gained at the end of his stint at Madrid. 

Being a NYSE-listed company, Manchester United have to make statements to the market whenever there is significant turnover in senior personnel. When Sir Alex Ferguson announced his retirement, for example, it was first communicated in a formal statement to shareholders, and Manchester United PLC’s stock plummeted 4.5%.

A report on Twitter has David de Gea’s transfer from Manchester United to Real Madrid collapsing. 

The documents did not arrive on time!!!!!! Presentation was ready. All agreed. But as it stands de Gea stays at MUFC!!

— Guillem Balague (@GuillemBalague) August 31, 2015

Suarez has pulled off one of the hardest things a great player can ever do: leave a great, proud club for an even better one, and still have the old fan base like him. 

Sure, there was some bad blood in the immediate aftermath of his departure from Liverpool, but now, a year on, it’s hard to say that many Liverpool fans dislike the man. Whenever he comes up in conversation, thoughts usually turn to all of the ridiculously amazing things he did for the club, not bitterness. 

Roman Abramovic didn't become an oligarch by making bad financial decisions; his business savvy, along with shrewd political connections and a healthy moral deficit have allowed him to amass a personal fortune of around $8 billion. 

These days, one needn’t rely upon calendars, atomic clocks or tidal flows to gauge the dwindling of summer; the stench of panic emanating from Ed Woodward’s corner office is guidance enough.

Earlier this summer, Louis van Gaal hinted that Manchester United would bring in a "mystery striker." He was, obviously, very mysterious about who it would be. There were rumors about Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Neymar, Edinson Cavani and Cristiano Ronaldo, among others.

Do you want to know what feels like it happened a long time ago? This, this feels like it happened a long time ago:

That was Javier Hernandez playing hero for Real Madrid in one of the biggest games of the year late last April, 4 months ago. 

Manchester United advanced today to the group stage of the Champions League after spending a year in wayward pines. Wayne Rooney scored three goals and the Red Devils won 4-0. Great for them! That’s terrific. Way to go, fellas. Cheers. Good luck in Russia or Madrid or Israel in the next round.

Serious question: do you think you could do a dizzy penalty?

Gareth Bale couldn't do it.

Apparently this is a thing now. Players spin around and try and take a penalty and it's hilarious. We don't know why they would do this, but whatever. Minor details.

Look! Liverpool players tried it too! We learned that Joe Gomez is likely a better dizzy defender than a dizzy attacker, among other things.