Thursday, December 17 was a day that shall live in infamy for Chelsea fans. When the news broke shortly before 10:00 a.m. EST that Chelsea had parted ways with managerial legend Jose Mourinho, it plunged me into a state of darkness that I have not experienced in many years.
Cesc Fabregas has crossed seas, leaving the cities of his formative years, Barcelona and London, only to return, oscillating between ensconced locales in search of a happiness that can only be provided by fulfilling an unobtainable ambition.
After Manchester United’s dismal Champions League elimination at the hands of Wolfsburg this week, Manchester United fans from around the world must have looked at each other and said: “What the hell just happened here?”
All the promise going into this season has disappeared. United’s inability to put together a cohesive and effective attack has lead to their early Champions League exit, and all the people who were excited about the madman master Van Gaal last season are just about ready to call for his head.
Former Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has admitted to losing sleep and phoning Tonya Harding for advice over Liverpool’s appointment of Jurgen Klopp as manager. Well...maybe not. If Ferguson has been watching recent United matches, he’s not having any trouble sleeping. He might have Tonya's mobile number, though.
It’s been a season of stunning upheaval in the EPL. Leicester City have sat proudly astride the Premier League in November and boast the most lethal striker in the division in Jamie "chat s*** get banged" Vardy. The Chelsea team that won the league at a canter last season have become so accustomed to the bottom half of the Premier League table that they’re thinking of releasing a Drake-inspired charity single called "Started At The Top, Now We’re Here (In 14th)." But at least in this swirling maelstrom of change, we can rely on one anchor of stability: Arsenal are fourth.
Emblazoned across the wall at one of the Manchester City training gyms is the slogan “CREATE THE FUTURE.” With their massive outlay on player transfer fees, as well as over £200m spent on the Etihad Campus, a training and academy facility, the Citizens are hell-bent on global domination.
Funded by the seemingly limitless wealth of the Abu Dhabi United Group, the Sky Blues have become a dominant force in English football, winning the Premier League title twice in the last four years.
The beautiful game is constantly evolving and adapting with the times and technology on and off the pitch. A perfect example of this is the technology used by London and Premier League giants, Chelsea FC.
*Warning to readers with even a shred of dignity: do not read any further if you are offended by any and/or all references to Steven Gerrard's penis. Thank you.
Chapter six of Steven Gerrard's new book, "My Story," starts like this:
"The magic of the FA Cup was ruined the day my penis was bloodied and then stitched shut on an unromantic night in Bournemouth."
Radamel Falcao is not one of the elite scorers in world soccer anymore. In less than two years, he went from being one of the most feared strikers to, when healthy, just another scrub on the Manchester United and Chelsea benches.
For several months, Falcao has exhibited a low level of football and an impressive goal drought, a far cry from the player who scored 70 goals in 91 games with Atletico Madrid between 2011 and 2013.
Manchester United have been having problems at striker, with their only three options being possibly-over-the-hill Wayne Rooney, midfielder Marouane Felaini and 18-year-old Anthony Martial. That's why it seemed to many an unwise decision when they sold 27-year-old Mexican striker Chicharito Hernandez to Bayer Leverkusen during the transfer window.
Hernandez has been on fire for Leverkusen, scoring eight goals in his last six games, propmting one prominent Manchester United player, goalkeeper David de Gea, to question the decision to sell Chicharito.