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Entertainment

How To Build A Better Zlatan Robot

Fri, 12 May 2017 - 12:56

Stockholm

(At The ZlatanBot Factory)

Scientist: sir, the unit has broken down. A failure of the knee joint, apparently

Boss guy: Goddammit the warranty just expired

Other scientist: well, at least this will give us a chance to improve the unit

Zlatan: I am right here, and I can hear you. I am Zlatan, and I am already as close to perfect as can possibly exist

Scientist: well at least the hearing module still works

Other scientist: and the confidence module

Zlatan: Everything works I am Zlatan

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News

Manchester United Survive Late Push From Celta Vigo To Advance To The Europa League Final

Thu, 11 May 2017 - 16:19

Celta de Vigo came agonizingly close to scoring a vital second away goal that would've seen them advance to the Europa League Final. In the sixth minute of extra time, striker John Guidetti mishit a bouncing cross from ten yards out, and United cleared the ball out of the box before hearing a long awaited final whistle. Any shot on goal would've beaten United keeper Sergio Romero, who was out of position defending against the last-minute surge from Celta.

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News

Brilliant Ball From Marcus Rashford Finds Marouane Fellaini For A Goal

Thu, 11 May 2017 - 14:00

Manchester United extended their lead against Celta Vigo with a all-important goal from Marouane Fellaini. Henrikh Mkhitaryan found Marcus Rashford in space, and he delivered a perfect pass to Fellaini at the far post. A simple header from close range beat keeper Sergio Alvarez, who could only get a hand on the shot. Celta Vigo controlled possession early on, needing at least one away goal to advance. Their task just became much more difficult.

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News

Revitalized Arsenal Beat Southampton

Wed, 10 May 2017 - 16:00

The race for he third and fourth places in the Premier League has been more exciting to watch than the race for first and second places this season. Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United and Arsenal fans alike watch nervously each weekend in hopes that their team takes home three points. Today, Arsenal traveled to St Mary's Stadium to face Southampton and earned a crucial three points.

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News

Olivier Giroud Scores After Being On The Pitch For Three Minutes

Wed, 10 May 2017 - 15:45

After being on the pitch for nearly three minutes, Olivier Giroud secured Arsenal's over Southampton. A perfect string of passes found their way to an open Giroud who buried the free header. 

Olivier Giroud vs @SouthamptonFC (2017). pic.twitter.com/jVC5T56taZ

— ArsenalGoals (@ArsenalGoaIs) May 10, 2017

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News

Alexis Sanchez Gives Arsenal Breakthrough

Wed, 10 May 2017 - 15:28

Alexis Sanchez proved to everyone why he is one of the best forwards in the world. Mesut Ozil threaded a perfect pass, but Sanchez had no space to work with. After four touches, two Southampton players were on the ground and Alexis had opened up a clear cut chance and made no mistake of the finish. 

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Tottenham's New Stadium

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Entertainment

What Did Fraser Forster Say To James Milner Before His Penalty Save?

Tue, 9 May 2017 - 11:49

James Milner had a penalty saved on Sunday. It was his first failure to convert since 2009. Before he took it, Southampton goalkeeper Fraser Forster stepped up to the spot and whispered sweet nothings into Milner's ear. Did it affect Milner? After the match, Milner said he's been around long enough for that sort of thing not to bother him.

Oh come on Jimmy no one believes that.

What did Forster say that so unnerved the unflappable Milner? We have some speculations:

"James are you sure you didn't leave the kettle on this morning?"

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Coutinho and Wijnaldum Take On 30 9-Year-Olds

  • Read more about Coutinho and Wijnaldum Take On 30 9-Year-Olds

How Mauricio Pochettino's Tactics Have Made Tottenham A Consistent Threat

  • Read more about How Mauricio Pochettino's Tactics Have Made Tottenham A Consistent Threat

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