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Arsenal Breaks Club Transfer Record To Sign French Striker, But Not The One Everyone Wants
Yes! Arsenal fans, it’s here!
The big-money striker signing you’ve been waiting for since Thierry Henry left town.
That French forward everyone in the world covets is coming to the Emirates.
You’ll never guess who… pic.twitter.com/4Owx2Bg17i
— Arsenal FC (@Arsenal) July 5, 2017
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These Kids Are Happier To Meet Jesse Lingard Than You Will Ever Be About Anything
Surely you can find some kind of profound meaning in this video of a group of British lads encountering Manchester United attacker Jesse Lingard and completely losing their shit. You could probably ruminate on the nature of fandom, how we should all try to see things through the eyes of a child sometimes, to lend perspective.
Little kids are the best because of their lack of filter. This is clearly the best thing ever to happen to them (until the next best thing ever), and they're not afraid to express it. We should all be so lucky.
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John Terry Transfer Gives Millennials and Baby Boomers Another Thing to Fight About
Summer is high-time for transfers and this might just be the most high-profile one yet. There's a lot to discuss in terms of the move itself — one of the biggest names in English football, John Terry, finishing out his career with Championship side Aston Villa.
However, much of the yesterday's buzz focused on the bizarre/unique/amusing way the club chose to deliver the news.
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Mike Ashley Is The Owner You Didn't Know You Wanted In Your LIfe
Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley is your drunk uncle at Thanksgiving, but if your uncle was an extremely wealthy businessman and Thanksgiving was every day.
The Telegraph has reported one of the most amazing stories of the year, detailing Ashley's alleged business practice of getting everybody on his management team trashed and then making decisions.
Shot:
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Following The Summer Transfer Window Is Like Reading A Young Teen Novel Every Day
The likes of Arsenal, Everton, Leicester City, Newcastle United and Tottenham all saw the majority of their players return to the training ground for the start of preseason today. Many other sides, like Manchester United, Liverpool and Chelsea, will also begin their preparations this week.
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Watch Ronaldinho Embarrass The Manchester United Legends
It has probably been five years since Ronaldinho ran at a full sprint, but defenders should approach the Brazilian legend with caution nonetheless, because he can still dribble like this:
#BarçaLegends
Delicatessen 'Made in @10Ronaldinho' pic.twitter.com/3kxApDSjyM
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Paul Pogba Proclaims Dab Is Dead, Billy Dance Is In
It came straight from Paul Pogba’s mouth:
“Dab is Dab, now it’s gone.”
You read it. He's done with Dab.
Pogba’s quintessential move — the best thing to come to European soccer from America since Christian Pulisic — is done with.
In an interview with Esquire, Pogba said he’s moving on to what he’s calling the Billy Dance.
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20-Year-Old Attacking Virtuoso Henry Onyekuru Opts For Everton Over Arsenal
Everton have made a lot of noise in this summer’s transfer market after signing Jordan Pickford from Sunderland for £30 million and Davy Klaasen from Ajax for £23.5, but their most exciting signing yet was confirmed today, although 20-year-old Nigerian international Henry Onyekuru won’t be appearing at Goodison Park for another year.