Philippe Coutinho was in the stands, but the only two players Barcelona needed against Celta Vigo Thursday were Lionel Messi and Jordi Alba. Meet me once Barcelona go up 3-0.

Messi’s first of the day: A wicked left-footed volley (via @beINSPORTSUSA) pic.twitter.com/cbzse7Y8bV

— Planet Fútbol (@si_soccer) January 11, 2018

Valencia eased into the Copa del Rey quarterfinals with a 4-0 victory over Las Palmas at the Mestalla on Tuesday, the Cup match playing out entirely like La Liga’s third-place side going up against the club in 20th. Valencia’s Luciano Vietto, who’s on loan at Los Che from Atletico Madrid, scored an amazing hat-trick of ever-increasing quality to lead the way.

The 24-year-old Argentinian gave Valencia a 1-0 advantage (2-1 on aggregate) in the 30th minute with a side-footed finish on the rebound after Simone Zaza’s header was miraculously saved by Raul Lizoain. 

Real Madrid traveled to face second-tier Numancia in the first leg of their Copa del Rey Round of 16 matchup on Thursday. They were fortunate to come out with a 3-0 victory, scoring two penalties and riding their luck against a Numancia side that was inches away from greatness. 

Real Madrid rested a number of stars for the cup match but still fielded a team with Gareth Bale, Marco Asensio, Dani Carvajal and Lucas Vazquez. Numancia, which is currently in fifth place in the Segunda Division in Spain, fielded none of its $100 million stars, probably because it has none. 

Ousmane Dembele made his long-awaited return from injury in Barcelona’s Copa del Rey Round of 16 first leg match versus Celta Vigo, but the headlines were written by the man he replaced in the 72nd minute, 22-year-old winger Jose Arnaiz.

Gareth Bale made his return from another injury layoff with an exquisite assist for Real Madrid, but goalkeeper Keylor Navas’ ricocheted blunder may have overshadowed Bale’s attempted heroics. Real Madrid drew 2-2 against Fuenlabrada in the second leg of their Copa del Rey Round of 32 match on Tuesday, advancing 4-2 on aggregate as the club’s (relative) struggles continued this season.

Some players are just destined for greatness from the moment they step on the pitch, their debuts so magnificent the entire stadium recognizes the kid on display is special. Like a 17-year-old Alan Shearer netting a hat trick against Arsenal in his debut, some introductions are seminal events that will never be forgotten.

Jesús Vallejo did not have such a debut for Real Madrid in the Copa del Rey on Thursday. 

Ever wanted to know what a locker room looks like after your favorite stars are done with it? Well, it’s a bit like learning how the sausage is made — probably something you’d rather not see. The Barcelona locker room was left a nauseating mess after the team’s 3-0 win over host Murcia in the Copa del Rey fourth-round match on Tuesday. 

Lionel Messi turned in a Midas-like performance in Saturday’s Copa del Rey final — everything he touched turned into gold. He opened the scoring for Barca in the 30th minute with an unstoppable effort from 18 yards out, he was heavily involved with a “hockey assist” in Neymar’s goal and then he settled the match before halftime with a sublime feed for Paco Alcacer and Barcelona’s third.  

Outside of these pivotal moments, Messi was unplayable. He registered 101 touches in the game, including four key passes, four shots and a staggering nine successful dribbles.