Cristiano Ronaldo is an incredible footballer, blessed with size, speed, strength, foot skiils and awareness that would be the envy of pretty much anyone. Luis Suarez is also blessed in all these categories, just not as much as Ronaldo.

There is one skill, though, in which Ronaldo will never match Suarez's unbelievable talent: acting.

Ronaldo and Suarez each attempted dives during Sunday's Spanish Super Copa first leg. Suarez won a penalty (which Lionel Messi converted), but Ronaldo was given his second yellow card and dismissed from the match.

So what went wrong?

This weekend, Barcelona began their season with a 3-1 steamrolling at the hands of Real Madrid. The first goal came at the hands of Barcelona center back Gerard Pique, who hates Real Madrid with the fiery white-hot passion of a thousand suns and was none too pleased about putting the ball into his own net so Madrid didn't have to.

To accentuate Pique's sadness, some intrepid Internet person set Pique's Blunder to the saddest song in popular culture, courtesy of Celine Dion.

I hope you never feel the type of pain Luis Suarez feels here after bumping into Giorgio Chiellini. This video is tough to watch. There is real anguish in this man's eyes. His nervous system is on fire, crying out for an ice pack and some magic spray and preferably a direct free kick. You don't know what real pain is. Luis Suarez knows. He feels it here.

SUAREZ'S FALL LMAOOOOOO #JuveFCB pic.twitter.com/7KPrG45r5V

You know how honeymoons are supposed to work: the newlyweds are supposed to hop on a plane and spend a few weeks being very romantic and doing it a lot while not seeing a single person they have ever met or will meet again. This is a tried-and true formula, but it is not the formula Lionel Messi and wife Antonella Roccuzzo are using, because their honeymoon includes Luis Suarez.

Gerard Pique crashed a dune buggy. This is not an uncommon occurrence in the dune buggy world, as dune buggies tend to give one a shot of adrenaline that forces one to press the gas pedal down as far as it will go while making an extremely sharp turn and ending up upside-down in a cloud of dust.

That said, is there anyone on Barcelona who would be able to resist these temptations, while still driving a dune buggy with the verve and the exuberance that a dune buggy demands? We speculated:

Gerard Pique: No.

Luis Suarez is famous for three things: scoring lots of goals, biting the occasional person and throwing himself to the ground in mock panic like air-raid sirens are going off.

He hasn't bitten anyone in a while, so the flopping has lately become the most scrutinized and ridiculed part of Suarez's existence in the soccer universe. You may have partaken in this yourself, but I bet you didn't know there is a method to Suarez's madness. Behind his seemingly-spontaneous dives is an intricate technique that many can learn but few can master. Suarez is a master.