Kyle Walker is the most expensive defender ever. Kyle Walker is the most expensive English player ever. Kyle Walker.

I'm sure Pep Guardiola knows what he's doing, really I am, but why on earth would he spend $65 million on English Alberto Moreno? Does Guardiola truly believe Walker is worth that price, or is he, like, trying to challenge himself?

OK, it’s over, we’re calling it now.

All this nonsense over announcement videos for new club signings has reached its peak (nadir?) and will all go downhill from here after Southampton’s entrance into the fray. 

Are we doing this right?  #saintsfc pic.twitter.com/TaByabGqci

Wayne Rooney is back at Everton, and it took just 34 minutes for the prodigal son to make his presence felt in a friendly against Kenyan club Gor Mahia. To use a baseball analogy, Rooney is firmly in the slow designated hitter phase of his career, but he can still hit the occasional home run when the moment arises.

You know what they say about a player with big feet?

Manchester United fans hope it means he’s great in the box. See, new Red Devils signing Romelu Lukaku wears big boots. 

One little kid found out just how big they are when he somehow snuck past security and into the United locker room while the club trained at UCLA ahead of playing the L.A. Galaxy on Sunday. 

Wayne Rooney is coming home. The 31-year-old Manchester United legend will once again don the blue jersey of boyhood club Everton. In some aspects, it's like he never left.

“I’ve kept it quiet for the last 13 years but I’ve been wearing Everton pyjamas at home with my kids,” Rooney said after the transfer was announced.

 | Once a Blue, always a Blue...

“A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.” -Joseph Campbell, The Hero’s Journey