“What does a soccer captain do?” you typed into the search engine named Google. Here’s your answer in the form of 23-year-old Newcastle United center back Jamaal Lascelles. The Englishman skippered Newcastle’s return to the Premier League, and now he’s earned the Magpies a vital victory over Swansea City with a heartfelt block and buccaneering header.
The EPL transfer deadline will be moved up next season to before the start of the season, in an attempt to curb the silliness of players angling for moves while playing actual soccer games against teams they might be sold to.
Those of you who revel in the insanity of the transfer deadline need not fret, though. Next summer's transfer window will still be dumb as hell.
FIFA, the organization whose scandalous bidding processes for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups revealed rampant institutional corruption, has opened disciplinary proceedings against England’s Dele Alli for his obscene gesture on Monday.
Alexis Sanchez is fat and content because he’s got a hot new GF and that’s why Arsenal and Chile can’t win. At least, that’s what tens of thousands of fans are saying ahead of a planned march in Santiago to break up Alexis and his girlfriend Mayte Rodriguez.
Dejan Lovren is like a haunted doll. No matter how hard you try to get rid of him, he always finds a way to stay put. During Liverpool's last two summers, a main goal has been to replace Lovren in the starting lineup. Lovren is still in the starting lineup. Next summer they will try to replace him again, but will fail somehow. Dejan Lovren will keep his job.
As more and more money is spent on football, stadiums become more and more complex. Tottenham Hotspurs' new venue will be the latest in a long line of transforming soccer stadiums, as the club showed off in a video on Thursday.
Tottenham wants its new stadium to be the go-to venue for NFL games played in London. The designers of the stadium have come up with a way to maintain a Premier League-quality grass surface while still supporting American football games.
According to researchers from the Georgia Institute of Technology, all mammals take an average of 12 seconds to poop. Regardless of the size of the rectum, be it an elephant’s sphincter or a cat’s, that s**t is riding a wave of mucus like “a sled sliding down a chute” and out in no time flat. Unless it’s diarrhea — that confounds all mathematical models.
Wayne Shaw is an overweight man in his mid 40s who likes to eat pies. We are all Wayne Shaw.
Sadly for overweight pie eaters everywhere, Shaw was fined and banned for two months from doing a job he was fired from eight months ago — all for eating pie.
Near the end of England's 2-1 win against Slovakia in UEFA World Cup qualifying, England's precocious and occasionally hotheaded young midfielder Dele Alli became fed-up with somebody.
Dele Alli tells his marker that he's number one. #england #engsvk pic.twitter.com/Tk3VW1rU49