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Entertainment

A Pep Guardiola XI Consisting Only Of Full Backs Would Actually Be Dope AF

Thu, 17 Aug 2017 - 14:44

Before Pep Guardiola came down from the mountaintop proclaiming the new age of the 4-3-3 with attacking width providing by the wide defenders, nobody knew what a full back was. Sure, Roberto Carlos once struck a football so hard that we all admitted their existence, but that was all anyone knew about the position. What did they do? Why were they there? It was hard to know and even harder to explain.

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News

Lionel Messi Still Hasn't Signed His New Contract

Thu, 17 Aug 2017 - 12:49

Lionel Messi has agreed to sign a new contract with Barcelona, but Messi has not actually signed said contract yet.

This is obviously not good for Barcelona, who have to deal with the fallout from Neymar's transfer. Messi's current deal runs out after this season, but Barcelona have always maintained Messi would stay at the Camp Nou. It seemed like that was a certainty when La Pulga's new deal was announced earlier in the summer, to be officially signed when Messi showed up for pre-season training.

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News

It’d Be Disrespectful To Say Neymar-Less Barcelona Are Even Close To Real Madrid

Wed, 16 Aug 2017 - 17:06

Real Madrid’s 5-1 aggregate victory over Barcelona in the Spanish Super Cup wasn’t a Real marker, it was a proclamation: player for player, this is the strongest squad in the history of the game. No player on Real Madrid is irreplaceable, every player on Real Madrid is valued because they’re sensational.

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News

Ronaldo’s Five-Match Ban Upheld For Shoving Referee

Wed, 16 Aug 2017 - 12:49

The Royal Spanish Football Federation upheld Cristiano Ronaldo’s five-match ban on Wednesday, keeping the Real Madrid star out of Wednesday evening’s second leg of the Spanish Super Cup and the first four games of the La Liga campaign. 

Ronaldo received two yellow cards in Sunday’s first Super Cup leg in Barcelona to be sent off early. His first came for taking his shirt off after scoring a brilliant goal. The second was when the referee deemed he took a dive in the box.

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News

Barcelona Already Have A Replacement For Iniesta: It's Messi

Wed, 16 Aug 2017 - 10:24

Before Neymar came along and threw a wrench into the machinery, Barcelona's big transfer project for the summer was finding a long-term replacement for aging (but still devilishly good) midfielder Andres Iniesta.

Obviously, the Neymar business changed things, as evidenced by the fact that Barcelona are flinging cash at any attacker in Europe with two feet and a pulse. They seem to have abandoned the hunt for a new number 10. And, no, Paulinho doesn't count.

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Entertainment

The One Thing That Cristiano Ronaldo Will Never Be Better At Than Luis Suarez

Mon, 14 Aug 2017 - 17:28

Cristiano Ronaldo is an incredible footballer, blessed with size, speed, strength, foot skiils and awareness that would be the envy of pretty much anyone. Luis Suarez is also blessed in all these categories, just not as much as Ronaldo.

There is one skill, though, in which Ronaldo will never match Suarez's unbelievable talent: acting.

Ronaldo and Suarez each attempted dives during Sunday's Spanish Super Copa first leg. Suarez won a penalty (which Lionel Messi converted), but Ronaldo was given his second yellow card and dismissed from the match.

So what went wrong?

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Watch Lionel Messi Push A Referee During El Clasico And Nothing Happens

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News

Cristiano Ronaldo vs. Lionel Messi: Red Card, Yellow Card Comparison

Mon, 14 Aug 2017 - 16:30

Lionel Messi is the good, wholesome boy while Cristiano Ronaldo is the arrogant bad boy. It’s a typical narrative when comparing the temperaments of the two, but there is evidence to support the claim, at least in terms of disciplinary records.

Ronaldo picked up his 10th career red card on Sunday in the Super Copa against Messi’s Barcelona. Messi’s lone red card came 43 seconds after making his Argentina debut in 2005. 

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Marcelo Told Cristiano Ronaldo To Lift His Shirt Like Messi

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Entertainment

Let's Just Replace Commentators With The Titanic Music Whenever Barcelona Plays

Mon, 14 Aug 2017 - 13:02

This weekend, Barcelona began their season with a 3-1 steamrolling at the hands of Real Madrid. The first goal came at the hands of Barcelona center back Gerard Pique, who hates Real Madrid with the fiery white-hot passion of a thousand suns and was none too pleased about putting the ball into his own net so Madrid didn't have to.

To accentuate Pique's sadness, some intrepid Internet person set Pique's Blunder to the saddest song in popular culture, courtesy of Celine Dion.

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