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Five Story Lines They Don’t Want You To Talk About For The Champions League Semifinals

Fri, 13 Apr 2018 - 11:13

So it’s Real Madrid vs. Bayern Munich and Liverpool vs. AS Roma in the Champions League draw for the semifinals on Friday. What immediately jump out are all the storylines and relationships between the two sets of semifinalists. But there’s more to this matchup than player links. 

Sure, Bayern’s James Rodriguez is on loan from Real Madrid and Toni Kroos once plied his trade for the Bavarians. And yes, Salah transferred to Liverpool from Roma last summer. 

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These Perfectly Timed Slide Tackles Are A Thing Of Beauty

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Entertainment

10 Literary Insults Gigi Buffon Should Have Used On Michael Oliver

Fri, 13 Apr 2018 - 10:24

Clearly Gianluigi Buffon is not the biggest fan of Michael Oliver right now. The English referee sent the Italian goalkeeper off at the end of extra time during the Juventus-Real Madrid Champions League match Wednesday, after Buffon vehemently disagreed with a penalty Oliver gave. Juventus were eliminated after Cristiano Ronaldo converted the penalty.

Here's what Buffon said after the match:

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Entertainment

We Counted The Number Of Times Ronaldo Touched His Nose While Waiting To Take His PK (It’s A Lot)

Thu, 12 Apr 2018 - 13:21

Four minutes and 32 seconds elapsed from the time referee Michael Oliver pointed to the spot to the moment the ball struck the back of the net from the force of another epic Cristiano Ronaldo penalty kick. 

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Entertainment

Hate Makes Him Unstoppable, So It’s No Surprise That Ronaldo Is Currently The World’s Best

Thu, 12 Apr 2018 - 11:52

Cristiano Ronaldo is probably, no, scratch that, he is the most hated player in soccer right now. I challenge you to name me someone more polarising, I dare you. But, what makes him so easy to dislike? 

Well, for starters, the guy has a body that looks as if the Greek god Zeus hand carved it himself. I mean, seriously, I know most of us are out of shape, but there’s no need for Ronaldo to continually take his shirt off in celebration to remind us all of how ridiculously jacked he is. It's not fair. 

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Ronaldo's Top 5 Goals In The Champions League Set An Extremely High Precedent

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Entertainment

Roma's Commentator Hilariously Screams His Head Off After Manolas Goal

Wed, 11 Apr 2018 - 17:10

Roma completed one of the biggest comebacks in Champions League history by overcoming a 4-1 deficit after the first leg in Barcelona. They advanced to the semifinals on away goals after winning the second leg 3-0. When Manolas headed in the game-winning goal everyone (except Barca fans) went crazy: the players, the coaches, the fans, but the best reaction came from Roma’s commentator. This man was screeching like a little kid who got Nintendo 64 for Christmas.

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News

If That’s Goodbye, What A Batshit Ending To Gigi Buffon’s Career

Wed, 11 Apr 2018 - 15:26

If we’ve just witnessed Gianluigi Buffon’s final UEFA Champions League game, it was somewhat fitting given the plethora of fresh hells this competition has provided him with over the years. For half an hour, it looked like the footballing gods were finally smiling upon Italy’s favorite son — Juventus had miraculously turned around a three-goal deficit at the Bernabeu, and Buffon had recorded five vital saves to make it happen.

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News

This Just In: Champions League Canceled In Lieu Of Ronaldo Highlight Reel

Wed, 11 Apr 2018 - 15:23

We interrupt this year’s Champions League to inform you that this year’s competition has been canceled. In lieu of a tournament to determine the best team in Europe, UEFA has installed a series of challenges to show how amazing Cristiano Ronaldo is. Forget Real Madrid vs Juventus, Roma vs. Barcelona or Liverpool vs. Manchester City, all we really need is CR7.

Ronaldo haters, turn away now. 

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Commentary After Roma Knocks Barcelona Out Of Champions League Is Bone-Chilling

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