This Product Promises You Abs Like Cristiano Ronaldo. And Eternal Nightmares.

I can't get this commercial out of my head. It's been around for a few years, but I hadn't seen it until last night and, well . . . 

(shudders)

I will have a tough time getting over this one. THE THINGS THESE EYES HAVE SEEN.

(shudders again)

Why does Cristiano Ronaldo have a pulsating spider on his tummy?

(shudders so hard I go into convulsions)

Watch Barcelona Transform Bougie NYC Hotel Room Into Stanky Equipment Locker

If you saw the bellboy wheeling a few of these metallic cases down the hall, each clearly denoted as hands off material with a dozen locks keeping its contents guarded, you’d probably react like Ludacis in “Rollout (My Business)”: what in the world is in that bag, what you got in that bag?

For the FC Barcelona roadies, it’s a pair of one of a kind adidas Nemeziz 17s handcrafted especially for Lionel Messi, the latest range of Blaugrana training gear and Andre Gomes under lock and key.

New Jersey Family Collects More Than 1,000 Pairs Of Cleats For Kids In Haiti

Soccer is the world’s greatest sport. It doesn’t matter where you are or what time of day it is, you can always find a ball and start a pickup game. It’s a beautiful game, but what makes it more beautiful is when you have the necessary equipment. 

Many kids in Haiti have been playing soccer barefoot in gravel for years. Thanks to a soccer-loving family in New Jersey many kids will no longer have this issue.