Paris Saint-Germain almost broke the internet on Friday by announcing a starting XI against Metz that took all of the world’s money to assemble, including Neymar ($263M), Kylian Mbappe ($220M), Edinson Cavani ($77M) and Julian Draxler ($48M). Metz, by comparison, turned to Newcastle United flop Emmanuel Riviere.
La Liga president Javier Tebas is not happy with PSG's handling of Financial Fair Play rules this summer. Could that be because PSG bought one of his league's most marketable stars, a player who was sure to be the face of the league in a few years' time, for an exhorbitant price and one of the giants of his league couldn't hang on to said young star? Is Javier Tevas extremely bitter about this?
You know the trick, the one where someone gets on all fours behind someone else's back, and a third someone pushes the second someone, who topples over the first someone?
Coutinho and Neymar were feeling a bit mischievous at Brazil training, so they did that trick to Brazil's giant pissed-off bird mascot, Canarinho.
#LaChistera | La broma de Neymar y Coutinho a “Canarinho” pic.twitter.com/ba9S0gAt35
Barcelona the club might still be mad at Neymar for leaving, but the Brazilian forward's former teammates are clearly still buddies with him.
Look how happy everyone looks in this picture!
Barcelona is on the market for a new beau. The club is on Tinder, Bumble, Grindr, everything searching for someone to fill the hole in its left wing heart left by Neymar. But Barca sees Neymar smiling and laughing with a new love in Paris and gets angry.
Like a worm-filled peach, Barcelona appear to be rotting from the inside. After the departure of Neymar and the inability to bring in a replacement (they reportedly have given up on Philippe Coutinho), Barcelona's business-folk have not been holding up their end of the bargain.
While we don’t know if Neymar will some day win the Ballon d’Or with Paris Saint-Germain, we can say with confidence that he’s dramatically increased his chances of winning the FIFA Puskas Award by joining the Ligue 1 side.
PSG scored six goals against Toulouse on Sunday, and they were all pretty exceptional.
THIS IS JUST ABSURD NEYMAR.
This weekend, Barcelona began their season with a 3-1 steamrolling at the hands of Real Madrid. The first goal came at the hands of Barcelona center back Gerard Pique, who hates Real Madrid with the fiery white-hot passion of a thousand suns and was none too pleased about putting the ball into his own net so Madrid didn't have to.
To accentuate Pique's sadness, some intrepid Internet person set Pique's Blunder to the saddest song in popular culture, courtesy of Celine Dion.
Let's get the expected out of the way. Yes, Neymar made his Paris Saint-Germain debut. Yes, he scored the final goal in PSG's 3-0 win over Guingamp. Yes, he made a delicious assist to Edinson Cavani.
But how about that own goal? What in the heck?
GOOOAAALLLL!!!!