Age 21, standing at 6-4 and hailing from Muskego, Wisconsin, you probably think you know the USMNT’s latest salvation at the forward position, Andrija Novakovich. You’ve probably sketched a mental outline of a big, blundering center forward with an affinity for Milwaukee’s Best, but we mustn’t forget that Harry Kane was similarly written off for being a chubby, traveling salesman-looking version of Butt-head. 

Bastian Schweinsteiger and Ana Ivanovic have welcomed their first child, reportedly a boy alleged to be named Luka, into the world in Chicago this weekend.

Welcome to the world our little boy! We are so happy. @AnaIvanovic pic.twitter.com/j5Kp6u0CiJ

— Basti Schweinsteiger (@BSchweinsteiger) March 19, 2018

Hey, this all turned out well for American soccer. Thanks to FC Dallas’ shitshow performance against Tauro FC, the MLS side got to avoid getting spanked by Club America in the CONCACAF Champions League quarterfinals, and look who’s now doing the spanking — it’s Angeleno Joe Corona! 

According to the latest rumors from Sky Sports, Real Madrid president Florentino Perez is interested in signing Christian Pulisic from Borussia Dortmund this summer for around $100 million as he “sees the value in having the poster boy for football in America at his disposal.” 

Is the move all that far-fetched? No.

Timothy Weah, the son of former Ballon d’Or winner George Weah, made his senior debut for Paris Saint-Germain on Saturday, coming on as a 79th minute substitute in the club’s victory over Troyes in Ligue 1 play. Timothy just celebrated his 18th birthday on Feb. 22, and the native of New York City almost snatched a goal on his first appearance.

With Neymar potentially out for the rest of the season, Lucas Moura gone to Tottenham Hotspur, Kylian Mbappe nursing a right ankle injury and Edinson Cavani and Javier Pastore being rested in preparation for Real Madrid in the Champions League next week, it looks like 18-year-old American youth international Timothy Weah will make his PSG debut on Saturday against Troyes.

Weah, the son of 1995 Ballon d'Or winner George Weah, is not even listed as being on the first team on PSG's website.

Former USMNT striker Charlie Davies has called time on a once hugely promising career that was devastated by a serious car accident in 2009 and a subsequent 2016 cancer diagnosis. Davies' 10-year career included stints in Sweden, France, Denmark and with D.C. United, New England and Philadelphia in MLS, as well as 17 appearances and four goals with the USMNT between 2007 and 2009.

Zyen Jones, a 17-year-old forward, is set to become the latest American to move to Germany in search of playing time he can’t find in the U.S. Jones, who went on trial with Schalke in January, will move from Atlanta United’s academy to Schalke’s U-19 team when he turns 18 in August. 

Chelsea rolled into the FA Cup quarterfinals with Olivier Giroud scoring his first goal for the club in an emphatic 4-0 victory over Hull City at Stamford Bridge. The 62nd minute also saw the introduction of Kyle Scott, a U.S. U-20, for his club debut.