They Took The Opening Kickoff. Then It All Went Wrong

Things I can do in seven seconds: pour a cup of coffee, spread cream cheese on a bagel, type a sentence, tie my shoe, walk from one end of my apartment to the other and forget what I was thinking about seven seconds ago. Things Mike Grella can do in seven seconds: score a goal against the Philadelphia Union. 

We are entering the Mike D'Antoni zone here. Special shout-out to the Philadephia Union for completely botching literally the simplest play in all of soccer. 

On a deeper level, this goal foreshadows what would happen if someone decided to implement a Jurgen Klopp-style pressing attack: carnage. There's be screaming and crying and the discarded body parts of defenders who have never had to play the ball under real pressure before. It would not be pretty, but there would be many goals, and many of them would look like the one Mike Grella scored this weekend.

God help the MLS if one of the coaches figures this out. Its vaunted parity and top-to-bottom competitiveness would be discarded faster than a Mike Grella goal against Philadelphia. 

The Red Bulls won 4-1 by the way.

Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus

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