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News

New FIFA President Gianni Infantino Already Facing A Corruption Scandal

Gianni Infantino has not even been FIFA President for two whole months and he already finds himself embroiled in a corruption scandal. Infantino, a.k.a. "Johnny Baby" has become entangled in the "Panama Papers" offshore shell company leak scandal. This, it cannot be denied, is not a good look.

Authorities raided FIFA's offices, which is a thing they're probably used to by now, after Infantino's involvement in the Panama Papers was revealed.

From The Guardian:

The files, seen by the Guardian, show that Infantino — formerly director of legal services at Uefa, European football’s governing body — co-signed a TV contract in 2006 with two businessmen who have since been caught up in football’s global corruption scandal. Uefa, which has denied any wrongdoing, said it is cooperating fully with the Swiss police.

If I may address the witness directly.

Gianni, baby, what are you even doing? 

I know, I know, you got involved with those guys back when being corrupt for soccer bureacrats was typical and even expected. Times have changed, though. A couple of candidates even ran for FIFA President on anti-corruption platforms this last go-round. Yours was more like "hey at least I'm not Sheikh Salman," but the point is at least trying to pay lip service to the idea of organizational integrity. This business association of yours does not jive with that idea.  

At least Infantino has some friends in the soccer bureaucrat community to help him through this difficult time.

Sepp Blatter: The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good.

Jack Warner: Never trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die.

Chuck Blazer: I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people.

Michel Platini: I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust.

Jerome Valcke: You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. If you will not fight, then you will meet your destiny.

Oof. Maybe not. Gianni would easily fit in though.

Good news: Infantino has released a statement on the issue, and it's as hilarious as you'd expect.

“If my determination to restore football’s reputation was already very strong, it is now even stronger.

I welcome any investigation conducted into this matter.

For the sake of transparency and clarity, it is essential that all elements of this dossier are disclosed, as UEFA has done.

Based on these documents, it is clear that all contractual matters were conducted properly by UEFA.

Should I be required to contribute to bringing further clarification on the matter, I will of course gladly do so.

It is in my interest and in the interest of football that everything should come to light.”

Football's reputation was already very strong, huh? Is that why the previous president resigned in disgrace and he and his assumed replacement are now banned from the sport?

Football's reputation is now even stronger, he says. Y'all, Gianni Infantino might be even more delusional than I thought he was.

Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus

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