Messi Used To Puke On The Field Because He Ate Too Much Junk Food

Lionel Messi, the five-time Ballon d'Or winner and odds-on best player of all time, used to have a bad habit of throwing up in the middle of matches.

This is not the only video of Messi puking that exists on Youtube. Rest assured, there are many more. Fortunately, Messi has taken steps to control this issue, and it is now apparently a thing of the past. The culprit? It was not, as he once claimed, the result of Messi changing direction and accelerating so quickly that his own digestive system couldn't keep up. Rather, it was a penchant for junk food. Elite athletes aren't supposed to eat like 14-year-old slackers, Messi!

Here's what Messi told Cornisa TV:

“I ate badly for many years: chocolates, fizzy drinks, and everything. That is what made me throw up during games. Now I look after myself better. I eat fish, meat, salads. Everything is organised and taken care of.”

I for one am glad the pitches Messi steps onto are now a little less gross, thanks to the miracle of not eating garbage all the time. 

Now that we know Messi accomplished most of the incredible feats of his career with the eating habits of someone who hangs around gas stations bumming cigarettes a lot, they are even more amazing.

(H/T The Howler)