England Are Preparing For War Against Scotland

Later this week, England will play Scotland in a World Cup qualifier/remake of Mel Gibson's hit movie Braveheart. As such, England trained with the Royal Marines in order to better prepare themselves for, uh, something. Siege engines probably.

Harry Kane is so into this, you guys. Harry Kane is overflowing with love of country. Harry Kane probably has one of those Union Jack bulldogs like M in the James Bond movies.  Joe Hart, not so much. Joe Hart looks like he'd rather be wearing salmon shorts and boat shoes and drinking a nice white wine (out of a wine glass, Sam Allardyce, you philistine) while plotting a way back into Pep Guardiola's good graces. Harry Kane would have led the Charge of the Light Brigade. Joe Hart would have read the poem while lounging on a boat.

Also, poor Raheem Sterling. I'm not sure what is happening to him in that picture, but he is clearly not enjoying it. Chin up, lad. Maybe you and Adam Lallana can go for an ice cream later.

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