Choose Some Soccer Stuff And We’ll Tell You How Spicy Your Love Life Is

There’s too much pressure in society today regarding intimacy. Let us be the judge of your love life by dissecting your soccer selections.

Intimacy. There’s so much pressure involved. Everyone’s seemingly got a hand in your love life. “When are you getting married?” “When you makin’ them babies?” “Have you tried Cosmo’s tips for rewriting the Kama Sutra yet?” How do you know, comparatively, if you’re doing everything right? In the words of Big Pun, how do you know when you’ve achieved that peak balance of not being a player but just crushing a lot?

The television, the social media, the movies — they’ll all lie to you! Let us tell you how you’re doing in terms of human tenderness and intimacy by picking some soccer stuff.