Paul Scholes Opens Portal To Hell With Unnatural Pass

It's the start of a new Netflix series.

There’s so much about Paul Scholes that we are yet to understand. We’ve been studying the specimen for over 25 years, but as soon as we think we’re close to a breakthrough with regards to how this terrestrial animal has eyes going every which way, we are mystified by some new behavior.

The midfield instigator was roaming around the confines of the Etihad Stadium today with 50,000 spectators training their inquiring eyes upon him, and he delivered this . . . this thing.  

What is this thing?

Is it a good thing? It must be, because Robin van Persie messed it up.

One thing we do understand about Scholes, however, is that he can’t tackle a solitary ball without getting booked.  

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