12 Ridiculous Excuses Coaches Hear From Players

Some excuses are reasonable, some are ridiculous, but all of them are a coach's least favorite part of the job. At least we can laugh about them.

Being a coach is tough. Making sure players show up, sending countless emails and managing the expectations of every parent can make the whole experience of coaching a youth team seem like herding cats.

On top of that, coaches have to listen to the same excuses time after time after time. Some are reasonable, some are ridiculous and all of them are a coach's least-favorite part of the job. At least one can laugh about them later. Here's a list of excuses that, at one time or another, every coach has heard.

1
"I Didn't Know What Time Practice Started"

Practice is at 6:30. Practice is always at 6:30. Practice has never not been at 6:30. Practice will never not be at 6:30. But you forgot. Cool.

2
"I Didn't Know Where The Field Was"

My halftime team talk is going to be teaching you guys how to use Google Maps.

3
"My Car Broke Down"

Today I'm going to teach you about a little thing called "preventative maintenance."

4
"I Saw A Few Clouds And Assumed The Worst"

Oh come on what kind of person doesn't enjoy a good mudder?

 

5
"I Was Abducted By Aliens"

If you miss practice again you might want to ask the aliens if they'll take you back.

6
"My House Was Under Siege From Golmar The Destroyer"

Old Golmar is harmless as a newborn kitten. Man can barely swing his axe anymore.

7
"I Was Doing The Saltine Challenge"

And I would really like to know why.

8
"My Car Broke Down Again"

Haven't we been over this? Preventative maintenance. Oil changes.

9
"Russians Parachuted Into My Town And Took It Over"

Better get me Charlie Sheen's autograph, then.

10
"I Just Didn't Want To"

Fair enough.

11
"I Didn't Get Your Text"

You spend 75 percent of your waking hours staring at your phone. How is this possible?

 

12
"I Didn't Get The Email You Sent 3 Times"

You should just change your email address to lazysoccerplayer@nonsense.com.

Benjamin Franklin once said "He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else." Any soccer coach who has to listen to the above excuses over and over and over again will probably agree. For coaches who have had enough of excuses and want to get to coaching actual soccer, TeamSnap can make that process much more manageable.

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