The Top 10 Biggest 2020-21 EPL Salaries Calculated To Little Caesars Pizzas Per Week

That's a lot of dough. Get it? Because like pizza dough and money dough and alright I'll shut up.

The stars of the Premier League receive handsome compensation for their work on the pitch to entertain the masses. These stars will also never go hungry with their ridiculous weekly salaries. This list of the highest paid EPL players solely focuses on weekly wages and doesn’t include endorsement deals, bonuses and other payments. 

If you’re curious about some of the most valuable EPL players, I refer you to our social team’s hard work.

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Now back to the regularly scheduled weekly wage wonders. As always when I list high wages I will put the large numbers through my handy-dandy, $5.99-a-pop Little Caesars pizza calculator.

Top 10 Highest Paid EPL Players

10. Alexandre Lacazette

Weekly Salary: $240,722

Little Caesars Pizzas Per Week: 40,120

Technically Lacazette is the 13th highest paid player as there is a four-way tie for eighth. I thought it would be rude not to include him.

9. Willian

Weekly Salary: $250,139

Little Caesars Pizzas Per Week: 41,689

Willian clearly left Chelsea for the extra pizzas. Deep down he knew the real reason for leaving Chelsea after so many seasons. On the bright side he did leave the No. 10 jersey for Christian Pulisic. Sadly Pulisic isn’t earning as many pizzas.

8. Mohamed Salah, Harry Kane, Marcus Rashford, Tanguy Ndombele

Weekly Salaries: $260,145

Little Caesars Pizzas Per Week: 43,357

If these four put their pizza powers together they would be unstoppable. Rashford is actually doing amazing work in the U.K. in an effort to make sure no kid goes hungry. Maybe somewhere along the way he can throw in a pizza or two or a couple thousand.

7. Sergio Aguero

Weekly Salary: $299,342

Little Caesars Pizzas Per Week: 49,890

Nearly 50,000 pizzas. It’s hard seeing other people living out your dream. If Aguero decided to spend one of his weekly wages on some Hot-n-Ready goodness he could give one slice of pizza to everyone in Belize (if cut into slices of 8).

6. Anthony Martial

Weekly Salary: $325,181

Little Caesars Pizzas Per Week: 54,196

He’s not the first Manchester United player on this list and he surely isn’t the last. The Red Devils need to drop the damn Chevrolet sponsor and have some real art on the front of their kits.

5. Mesut Ozil

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Weekly Salary: $349,569

Little Caesars Pizzas Per Week: 58,261

Ozil wins the award for most likely on this list to actually spend his money on pizzas. The dude isn’t doing much on Arsenal’s bench other than raking in the money. To be fair he does frequently use his money to donate to charities.

4. Paul Pogba

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Weekly Salary: $377,210

Little Caesars Pizzas Per Week: 62,868

He’s not the first Manchester United player on this list and he surely isn’t the last … what the déjà vu? 

3. Raheem Sterling

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Weekly Salary: $390,217

Little Caesars Pizzas Per Week: 65,036

If you stacked the boxes of pizza just right, I’m willing to bet that a handful of cheese pizzas could have scored this against Lyon.

2. Kevin De Bruyne

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Weekly Salary: $417,315

Little Caesars Pizzas Per Week: 69,552

Over 69,000 pizzas every week. Nice. De Bruyne was recently given the PFA player of the year award. PFA obviously standing for Pizza Feasting Association.

1. David De Gea

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Weekly Salary: $487,771

Little Caesars Pizzas Per Week: 81,295

The highest paid EPL players bow down to De Gea. With 81,295 pizzas every week the guy is making some serious cheddar. Despite having plenty of blunders and howlers, De Gea can always hide behind his pizzas.

Fun fact: With each Little Caesars pizza being 14 inches, the area of each pizza is about 154 square inches. De Gea’s weekly intake of pizza would cover 12,519,430 square inches. The average soccer field is 11,067,022 square inches. De Gea makes over a soccer field’s worth of pizzas every week.

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