Defending, on the face of it, is a pretty animalistic art. Without a doubt, there are a myriad of subtleties to transform it into a fine art, but you still won’t get very far as a defender without being physical and instinctive. You’ve got to have the appetite for getting stuck in and crunching — you’ve got to mark your territory with blood, sweat and piss.
As you can probably tell, I’ve never been a defender. I get all anxious in the backline without any cover, and my first instinct is to bomb forward and get the hell out of there. Still, this metaphor between defenders and members of the animal kingdom is rolling along nicely, and I’m not going to toss it out the window just because I, for one, frequently abdicate my defensive responsibilities and perform back heels in the defensive third like my name was Mamadou.
No, there’s a clear line of evolution between our furry friends and those hellbent on not allowing the ball over that line. Just look! Here are three times when animals clearly drew inspiration from their favorite footballers and set about two-footing suckers.
Animals Playing Soccer With Defensive Verve
A Penguin Performing A Phil Jones Head-First Tackle
Phil Jones Version
A Dog Plugging The Gaps Like N’Golo Kante
N’Golo Kante Version
A Bull Tearing Through Someone Like Roy Keane
Roy Keane Version
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