The triple nutmeg is a rare but vicious beast. If you should encounter one in the wild, give it a safe distance and back away slowly, lest you get nutmegged yourself.
But seriously, Werder Bremen's Zlatko Junuzovic is handing out nutmegs like Santa handing out presents. He did Borussia Dortmund's Sokratis dirty three times in the same run, and left poor Sokratis, who Dortmund have probably cut, or even humanely put down, by now.
Viewer discretion is advised for this video. Do not watch it if you are squeamish or in any way bothered by nutmegs.
Tell us how many nutmegs there were LeBron.
Lebron: "Not one, not two..."
Tell Sokratis what he gets, Oprah.
"YOU GET A NUTMEG, YOU GET A NUTMEG, YOU GET A NUTMEG!"
And then the foul. Sokratis had to foul Zlatko there, if anything just to stop the bleeding. If that run had ended in a goal the internet would have disintegrated and we'd have to bury Sokratis's body under the stadium. Then he would haunt the stadium as a bow-legged ghost for eternity or until someone nutmegged Zlatko Junuzovic or one of his descendents three times to break the curse. Such is life.
Nutmegs for everybody, a triple-nutmeg for Sokratis (who may need to retire and change his name and leave the country after this), and a knowing nod and a wink from Lionel Messi, who we can assume is using his time out injured to plot how to pull off a quadruple or even a quintuple nutmeg, thereby reestablishing himself as the nutmeg king, for Zlatko Junuzovic, who by right becomes the new nutmeg king.
Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus