Red Card

We’ve come to understand that VAR is going to get weird. There are going to be suspensions of play that feel strange, there are going to be offenses that are bizarrely non-reviewable, there are going to be goals disallowed for offenses in the buildup that’ll feel mysteriously idiosyncratic. It all comes with the power of time travel.

But the one surreal use of VAR we never expected would be the one ending with the brandishing of a straight red card to the wholesome Kaka, which happened on Saturday. This wasn’t your classic sending off — it was weird as s**t. 

There’s no sight in football quite like that of a marauding center half. These moments invariably begin with the blundering oaf picking his head up and trying to spot a midfielder or defensive partner to lay the ball off to. Seeing all these options closed down, he’ll realize that he’s got about 15 yards of open real estate in front of him and those gangly legs will start churning.

In 24 minutes of Spanish Super Cup action on Sunday, Cristiano Ronaldo accomplished what many could never achieve over the course of their entire careers. The mercurial forward has always shown an appetite for amassing marks of renown, but Sunday’s first leg at the Camp Nou had something for everyone in the spectrum of The Cristiano Ronaldo Experience.

What a goal.

In the Premier League boneheaded move of the day, Jonjo Shelvey received straight red for stomping on the ankle of Dele Alli in plain sight of the referee.

And when we say "in plain sight of the referee," we mean that the referee could not have been any closer, or paying closer attention. See Exhibit A:

The Champions League and Europa League have used end-line assistants for a few years now. The Confederations Cup used VAR this summer, and Major League Soccer will start using video review on Saturday. The English Premier League has popularized goal-line technology and this year will have a panel to suspend those who dive or feign injury.

It’s taken a while, but soccer is finally getting its shit together when it comes to officiating the game. 

On Monday, Romelu Lukaku showed the world that he can still do goals by doing one against Real Salt Lake, but the real story of the night was the raring, caged animal that is Jose Mourinho. The Mind Games Master was exquisite during and after the match, foretelling of a season that will either end with him winning the treble or getting sacked by December. There are no other logical outcomes.

The MLS has said they’d like to implement Video Assistant Referees during the second half of the season, but the Philadelphia Union’s Haris Medunjanin should probably win the MLS Fair Play Award for overturning an incorrect call himself during Saturday’s match between the Union and DC United.

Medunjanin was shielding the ball for a throw-in when some pressure from United’s Luciano Acosta bowled him over near the sideline. The referee marched over, believed he saw Acosta kick-out at Medunjanin on the ground and promptly displayed a straight red.

Soccer referees do not generally get the better of their opponents during fights. This can be chalked up to referees rarely fighting, preferring to try to calm a situation down even when sucked into a violent confrontation.

This referee in Argentina, though, is a bad ass mother who don't take nothing off of nobody. He red cards a player, who takes offense and starts swinging. The referee coolly ducks then squares up and hits back.

(the fight starts just after the 5:00 mark)

The shameful specter of racist abuse in Italian football reappeared on May 6 after Torino’s match against Juventus. Not a week after the footballing authorities abandoned their duty of care regarding Sulley Muntari, Medhi Benatia noticed racist comments being made in his ear by a technician during a live, on-air interview following the 1-1 draw. Stopping abruptly, he demanded to know who had referred to him as a “Moroccan piece of sh*t”.