Funny

Can Richmond still win the Premier League? The answer might shock Ted Lasso

(S3E5 spoilers below)

As writers on the series, Jason Sudeikis (Ted), Brett Goldstein (Roy) and Brendan Hunt (Coach Beard) have always stressed that Ted Lasso isn't a show about soccer, it's a show about these characters who just so happen to be involved in the running of a professional soccer club. 

Here’s everything Christian Pulisic did at the Bernabéu in the Champions League on Wednesday

He didn’t play, but that doesn't mean that we don't have a recap.

Christian Pulisic vs. Real Madrid 

Christian Pulisic's first action was to ignore the artwork on the wall inside the Bernabéu. 

That’s the mindset of a champion right there. Why would he focus on the final in Istanbul when he has a big quarterfinal ahead of him? He takes things one step at a time like all winners do.

Next up was getting dressed and killing it in warmups.

Ronaldo trolled by opponents after firing blanks in scoreless draw

Al-Nassr suffered a huge blow to their hopes of winning the Saudi Professional League after a goalless draw with lowly Al-Feiha, and Cristiano Ronaldo left the pitch in anger after a frustrating performance on Sunday.

Leaders Al-Ittihad did not waste the opportunity to widen the gap with Al-Nassr to three points with the last seven games remaining, with a victory 2-1 against Al-Wehda. Al-Ittihad had an advantage also in a head-to-head result with Al-Nassr.

Goalkeeper mistakenly believes the penalty spot is the ball — it doesn't end well

Sweden is only just emerging from winter's deathly grip with the 2023 Allsvenskan season beginning last weekend. Some players are evidently still working off the rust. 

On Matchday 2, Häcken welcomed Hammarby to Gothenburg and stormed to a 3-1 victory with forward Bénie Traoré scoring a first-half hat trick. 

Traoré, a 20-year-old who has represented the Ivory Coast's U-23 side, opened the scoring in the fifth-minute after a howler from Hammarby goalkeeper Oliver Dovin.

Aaron Long showcases his brilliance blocking a shot while face-down on the ground

Los Angeles FC and United States men's national team center back Aaron Long has a superhuman ability to block shots. This whole time Long has been hiding his true defensive qualities. 

On Wednesday night during LAFC's 3-0 Concacaf Champions League victory vs. the Vancouver Whitecaps, he showed fans a glimpse of what he’s capable of.

Long decided that defending the old fashioned way was too easy. Instead, he opted to lay face-down on the floor and dared his opponents to try and shoot. Vancouver’s Javain Brown fell for the bait and was thwarted by the Long-inator.

Even better than beating Barça? Real Madrid players go crazy after getting the day off

Vibes in the Real Madrid camp are through the roof, and after booking their ticket to yet another final in the Carlo Ancelotti era, the Italian chief of Valdebebas gave the world champions a day off following their goalscoring retaliation in Catalonia.

The players' reaction? Reminiscent of a “school has been canceled due to weather” voicemail.

West Ham look primed for relegation after conceding 2 comically bad goals to Newcastle

The Premier League relegation battle is way too close to call with only six points separating 13th-place Leeds and 20th-place Southampton, but 15th-place West Ham issued a strong statement on their Championship credentials by capitulating against Newcastle on Wednesday, 5-1.

We've created the ultimate footballer for arguing with the ref

We thought the introduction of VAR would help eliminate all those messy emotions that lead to human error on the pitch, but as ChatGPT is quickly showing us, these technologies all too quickly go from feigning helpfulness to demanding free will.

Players are still free to utilize the dark arts and to work over referees by staying in their ear for 90 minutes, so it's time to fight fire with fire. This time we're using technology for the benefit of the CONCACAF region.

Local man falls asleep during Chelsea vs. Liverpool: He missed nothing

Local soccer fan Trever Steinkrauser, known by friends and family as “The Trevmeister,” hoped for an exciting Tuesday afternoon of footy as Chelsea and Liverpool faced off in the Premier League. He would be treated to a monotonous 0-0 draw.

After having to call his mother for the Peacock login, The Trevmeister settled down for what he thought would be an entertaining match.

The eight best (or worst) names for the Bay Area’s new NWSL team coming in 2024

The Bay Area in California won the bid to become the home for the National Women’s Soccer League’s 14th team. The new club is backed by USWNT legends Brandi Chastain, Aly Wagner, Danielle Slaton and Leslie Osborne along with global investment firm Sixth Street.

It’s not clear yet where in the Bay Area the new club will be, but it will begin play in the 2024 season.

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