There was a time during Patrice Evra’s heyday at Manchester United when he was considered the best left back in the word. At 35-years-old, the Frenchman is no longer undroppable — he’s only made two appearances for Juventus this season — but he has managed to lay claim to a new title: soccer’s best Instagrammer.
Evra’s profile isn’t even six months old yet, but it already has a cool one million followers.
It all started June 2 when he posted his first photo; a portrait of himself in a France jersey ahead of last summer’s European Championships.
That post laid the groundwork for Evra’s growing social media legend. Current French and Manchester United posterboy Paul Pogba greeted his fellow Frenchman with a “Welcome to Instagram tonton @patrice.evra” comment. "Tonton" means "uncle" in French. Evra’s younger teammates affectionately call him Uncle Pat. Little did they know their uncle would take over social media like most uncles take over family gatherings after a few drinks.
With that said, here’s your one-stop guide to Patrice Evra’s Instagram.
Uncle Pat: The Entertainer
Evra is a natural born entertainer. He never disappoints when it comes to putting on a show. Need a dance partner? Uncle Pat’s got you covered. Need a karaoke buddy? Uncle Pat’s got you covered. Need a last-minute member for your battle rap group? Uncle Pat’s got you covered. Need some comedic relief after a tough day at work? Uncle Pat’s got you covered. Need advice on how to pull off the perfect Bob Marley Halloween costume? Uncle Pat’s got you covered.
Uncle Pat: Lover Of Animals
Evra has a soft spot for furry creatures, but not the kind you’re thinking of. While most professional athletes use Instagram to show off their dogs, Evra shows off his love for primates. Yes, primates. Primates that like guns. Even primates that are featured on shirts.
Uncle Pat: Meme Connoisseur
If you want to be relevant online, you’re going to have to understand the power of the meme. And Evra is the GOAT of meme posting. He broke into the internet’s industry of graphic laughs with this gem: a Rush Hour 3 movie poster with the heads of himself and his best friend at Man United, Park Ji Sung, photoshopped onto the bodies of Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan, respectively.
There are also the slew of memes he re-posted of himself during Euro 2016, including a legendary one featuring a cameo from Cristiano Ronaldo.
But the cream of Evra’s meme crop was a faceswap of his aforementioned former United teammates Park and Ronaldo. Evra was searching for the perpetrator behind the face swap, but during his quest to find the suspect, he solved a mystery of his own: we now know that Ronaldo could seamlessly join any Beatles cover band. Merci, Uncle Pat. Merci.
Uncle Pat: The Crossfitter
Some people call Crossfit a cult. Uncle Pat calls it a lifestyle.
Uncle Pat: International Man Of Mystery
Evra can speak five languages plus a bit of Korean. Talk about optimum fan engagement. He should probably start walking around to permanent background music to the tune of Johnny Rivers’ “Secret Agent Man”.
Uncle Pat: The Family Man
To most, Evra is an uncle, but to a select few, specifically his two kids, he’s a dad. And like all great dads, Evra goes above and beyond to make his kids happy.
Uncle Pat: Life Coach
Uncle Pat: Lover Of The Game
“I love this game!” It’s Evra’s signature phrase nowadays and it’s what he uses to sign off most of his Instagram videos. And it’s quite a hit among his teammates, too.
Uncle Pat: Overall Good Guy
Oh, and he even decided to clear the air with Luis Suarez by congratulating the Uruguayan on his Golden Boot Award fours years after the infamous racial abuse incident.
At this point, how can you not love Evra’s Instagram game?