The18.com knows you don't have time to waste when it comes to your soccer news. That's why we've created the fastest rundown in soccer. Greg Ellis takes you through 18 different soccer topics, and spends 18 seconds on each. This time he goes over Cristiano Ronaldo's potential break up with Real Madrid, World Cup mascots, and the most mispronounced soccer names and much more. If you liked this episode Watch Episode 3 of 18 Things in 18 Seconds.
1. Ronaldo leaving Real Madrid
Is Cristiano Ronaldo getting kicked to the curb at Real Madrid? He’s still scoring goals at a prodigious clip, but he’s 33, and that’s gross.
With Neymar rumored to be in line for the throne at Real and Manchester United reportedly off-put by the idea of a romantic reunion, where does the denim fashionista go next?
Hopefully not to my girlfriend’s house.
2. Is Zabivaka the wolf a good mascot or a nefarious hooligan?
Ah, the World Cup mascots. Who can forget Fuleco, the Brazilian armadillo, or Zakumi, the South African leopard? And what about Goleo VI, the German lion?
As for Russia, I’m not quite sure what to make of Zabivaka the wolf. Is he a goalscoring poacher as he pertains, or is he a nefarious hooligan, drinking malt liquor and getting a rush out of cracking skulls?
3. Zlatan to LA Galaxy
The lumbering, limber and lithe goal-scoring machine that is Zlatan Ibrahimovic could be coming to MLS soon. The current Manchester United striker has been rumored to be planning a move to the LA Galaxy and reportedly the Swede was seen house shopping in the City of Angels. A league winner at Ajax, Inter, Barcelona, AC Milan and PSG, the forward could add some credence to a Galaxy team that finished in last place in 2017.
4. Most mispronounced names
These are the most mispronounced names in soccer:
Hakan Calhanoglu, Henrikh Mkhitaryan, Xherdan Shaquiri, Wojciech Szczęsny, Vedad Ibisevic, Cuauhtemoc Blanco, Lee Nguyen, Adebayo Akinfenwa and of course Fred.
5. Ridiculous MLS Expansion Cities
Miami and Nashville were recently announced as expansion cities for MLS with Cincinnati, Detroit and Sacramento possible additions, but honestly we’re a bit bored by those choices. We believe MLS should up its game and find imaginative new towns to host teams like Roswell, New Mexico, home of the fightin’ conspiracy theorists, Barrow, Alaska, the northern-most city in the U.S., or the Trump-approved Moscow, Idaho.
6. World Cup Newbies
Iceland and Panama will be the only newcomers at the World Cup this summer after the two countries qualified for the first time last year. Iceland set a record for the smallest nation to qualify with a population of 348,000, less than 56 U.S. cities. Iceland will be in the fun Group D with Argentina, Croatia and Nigeria. Panama is larger but still overcame big odds to edge out the U.S. in qualifying. They’ll play Belgium, England and Tunisia in Group G.
7. Relationships (how to break up with a soccer player)
If you're in a relationship with a soccer player, here are some creative ways to step on his or her heart:
"It's not you, it's Ben Mee."
"My heart is the goal and David de Gea is the goalie."
"My heart has submitted a transfer request."
"Maurizio Sarri it has to be this way."
"I'm . . . kicking . . . you out of my life."
8. Orlando Super Team
The Orlando Pride are building what appears to be a super team in Florida. The club now boasts Brazilian legend and five-time World Player of the Year Marta plus U.S. Women’s National Team stars Alex Morgan, Sydney Leroux and Ali Krieger. Leroux moved to Orlando recently in an unsurprising move to follow her husband Dom Dwyer, who plays for Orlando City. Morgan did the same for her husband in 2016, but he has since moved to the LA Galaxy so who knows where she might end up next.
9. Most goals in UCL History Individual/Team
Did you know, the record for the most goals in a Champions League match was set by Feyenoord in a 12-2 win over Reykjavik in the preliminary rounds in 1969. Feyenoord won the title that year. Only two players have scored five goals in a match in the Champions League era: Lionel Messi against Bayer Leverkusen in 2012 and Luiz Adriano against BATE Borisov in 2014. Cristiano Ronaldo owns the record for most goals in a Champions League season with 17 in 2013-14.
10. Columbus to Austin
Columbus Crew owner Anthony Precourt became the most hated man in MLS last season when he said he was exploring options to move the club south to Austin, despite no current stadium plans in the Texas capitol. Fans of the Crew, one of the original MLS clubs, started a Save The Crew campaign that gained backing from supporters around the country, except, presumably, Austin. The purported move, which could happen as soon as 2019, will be a major distraction throughout the 2018 campaign.
11. Relegation Battle
Sorry to spoil it, but Manchester City are the 2018 Premier League champions. Yay. That’s all well and good, but it’s the relegation battle that now deserves our attention, and it’s shaping up to be a classic.
No less than 11 clubs have been sucked into the mire, and the majority of that number will probably be sweating it out until the final week. Could this spell the end for mainstays like Stoke, West Brom and Swansea?
12. MLS academies vs. Germany
Should talented young Americans move to Germany to further their development or stay at home and play in MLS academies? Germany has better teams, better facilities and better coaches. MLS academies are probably great. German academies are definitely great. Just ask Christian Pulisic. Do not ask Julian Green.
13. FIFA, Where can it improve over last year?
FIFA 18 was good, but it wasn’t that good, EA Sports. There’s definitely some room for improvement, some real life instances that should certainly be incorporated in FIFA 19.
For one, tunnel bust ups. If you have a problem with the way the other team is playing, you should be able to hurl some milk at them in the tunnel before a bit of fisticuffs. Then, you can kick in the door to the referee’s room and let them have some.
14. Beckham’s Miami club
The most protracted story in MLS came to a close last month as Miami was officially announced as the site of the league’s 25th team. The project was spearheaded by Renaissance man David Beckham and although the team remains as yet unnamed, the Miami Vice, as far as we know, is still in the running. Party in the city where the heat is on.
15. The Liverpool front three song
Salah, ah Mane Mane
Roberto Firmino
And we sold Coutinho
But that don't matter at all actually because we got
Salah, ah Mane Mane
And Bobby Firmino
And we sold Coutinho
But we've got
Salah, ah Mane Mane
And Bobby Firmino
And we sold Coutinho
16. What are the right soccer expressions you should yell from the sidelines if you are soccer parent extraordinaire?
Here are some fun, positive things parents of youth soccer players can yell at their children:
Do a score! Score a soccer thing! Score a soccer score! Do a defense sometimes too! Defense sometimes and score! Do both score and defense! Score score score defense! Wooooo! and Have a good time!
17. Carlos Cordeiro: Good, bad or boring choice?
Carlos Cordeiro, the vice president to Sunil Gulati, was recently elected U.S. Soccer president over populist choices Kyle Martino and Eric Wynalda, two candidates that Twitter really supported by virtue of knowing their names.
While the selection of Cordeiro was viewed as more of the same around most soccer circles, one candidate who really would’ve raised hell only finished with 1.4 percent of the vote — Hope Solo.
18. The Roberto Firmino kick celebration
Look at me I'm Roberto Firmino!
