Cristiano Ronaldo's Careless Whisper in the ear of PSG coach Laurent Blanc has received a lot of attention this week.
To hear the press tell it, there is no way Cristiano whispered anything other than "I will totally force a move to PSG this summer and then we can use the oil money to take over the world. Of European football."
Of course, the chances of him actually having whispered that are slim to none. We, personally, do not believe Ronaldo whispered anything of the sort.
With that in mind, we have come up with a list of things that are more likely to have been whispered by Ronaldo:
1. The lyrics of Ying Yang Twins' "Wait (The Whisper Song)," which are too inappropriate to put here.
2. "Dude watch the new movie that's coming out about me I hear it's really good."
3. "I really hope Barcelona goes to Ligue 1 so I can finally be the best player in La Liga."
4. "You should coach Ream Madrid. 'Blanc for Blancos' is a great headline."
5. "LOL Benzema."
6. "Seriously come coach Real Madrid. You will have a 'Blanc slate' hahaha."
7. "Look at that girl in the fifth row she's pretty hot."
8. "Does this look like it's infected to you?"
9. "Seriously, I can give you the name of hy stylist, just ask."
10. "We just beat you hahaha you suck."
This much is certain: whatever the press thinks he was saying, he surely wasn't saying.