Wayne Rooney's testimonial match was played Wednesday, and it was emotional for all involved. Everton, his first Premier League team, and Manchester United, likely his last, fought to a 0-0 draw that brought to mind Rooney's recent form.
This was truly a game indicative of Rooney now who people think should maybe play in midfield or maybe stay in the dressing room and fold towels or something and not younger Rooney, who ran around on the field and did stuff. Here's a blow-by-blow account of the action.
(falls asleep in front of the TV)
(wakes up with a start)
Ah, what did I miss? Nothing? OK. (falls back asleep)
Seriously, why did BT Sport make a highlight video of that game?
Was anyone expecting something different? Let's all be honest: a nine-goal thriller was never in the cards here. The best we could have hoped for was someone winning a garbage penalty and Rooney converting it. And, again, that was the best-case scenario.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic couldn't even make this game interesting.
Saw my Mate, the other day
Said to me he'd seen the white Pele.
So I asked "Who is he?",
He goes by the name of Wayne Rooney.
Wayne Rooney, Wayne Rooney,
He goes by the name of Wayne Rooney.
Happy trails, Wayne Rooney.
(is told Wayne Rooney is not retiring)
Good lord.
Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus
