The AP reported that Lionel Messi is set to undergo medical tests related to a kidney problem he suffered in December that seems to have recurred. Naturally, we as a soccer website are handling this news with the trademark reserve and calm of the worldwide soccer community. We are not panicking at all.
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JUST KIDDING WE'RE PANICKING WE ARE PANICKING SO HARD RIGHT NOW OH GOD NOT MESSI PLEASE NOT MESSI.
As with any situation of this nature, we must wait until all the fact come out. It's probably nothing. They even said Messi would be back training with the squad soon. OH GOD I BET ONE OF HIS KIDNEYS EXPLODED I HAVE A COUSIN WHO SAYS HE HEARD OF THAT HAPPENING TO A PERSON ONE TIME.
Messi, of course, is the most valuable commodity on soccer, and Barcelona are surely just taking extra precautions with their most prized asset I LOOKED ON WEBMD AND I CAN'T UNSEE WHAT I SAW NOW I'M CONVINCED MESSI HAS SOME KIND OF HORRIBLE KIDNEY DISEASE.
Based on the reports so far, Barcelona aren't that concerned about this, which means we shouldn't be that concerned either REMEMBER ALONZO MOURNING HE HAD TO RETIRE FROM BASKETBALL BECAUSE OF A KIDNEY THING I BET MESSI HAS THAT AND HE'LL NEVER PLAY AGAIN OF GOD.
We are left, then, with two conclusions. Conclusion 1: don't panic.
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CONCLUSION 2: PANIC IT'S OVER IT'S ALL OVER
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Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus
