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The Champions League Returns In The Dumbest Way Imaginable

I always get a little depressed when ESPN FC shares a highlight from MLS and anywhere between five and 10 people feel obligated to tell the void that the defending is trash, the league is shit and they could’ve scored that. The truth is that football is a game of failure and error. In a certain sense, every league around the world — from the NPSL on up to the Champions League — is a unique and original dumpster fire.

As Federico Fazio once said, “Football is full of mistakes. Without errors, every game would finish nil-nil. That would be boring, like seeing 11 robots playing against 11 robots. Football does not work that way and we are used to it. There are people who understand it and people who do not.”

If Raheem Sterling’s opening goal for Manchester City on Friday would’ve come from MLS, it would’ve vindicated all the “that’s why I never watch this league” takes — but it came in the Champions League Round of 16, courtesy of the 13-time European champions and World Cup-winning center back Raphaël Varane. 

It can only get better from there for Los Blancos, right? Zinedine Zidane’s side cannot fail!

...Good god, Thibaut Courtois, what are you doing?

Et tu, Casemiro? 

Holy shit, Varane again?

It turns out that Real’s 11-game unbeaten run to end the league season was actually 100% reliant on Sergio Ramos, who scored six goals and provided one assist during that time. The Real Madrid captain missed this one after picking up a red card in the first leg back in February, and things went to hell without him.

City advances to the quarterfinals, where they’ll meet Lyon on Saturday, August 15, at Estádio José Alvalade in Lisbon, Portugal. 

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