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News

Apparently Sepp Blatter Saw The Afterlife, And He Thinks He's Going To Heaven

Sepp Blatter's take on his recent health scare:

"I was between the angels who were singing and the devil who was lighting the fire, but it was the angels who sang."

Perhaps he was just lighting a cigarette and happened to take a glance at a mirror, but all jokes aside the suspended FIFA president claims he was really close to the final whistle.

The 79-year-old was admitted into a hospital earlier this month because of a “small emotional breakdown.” 

Coming in the midst of his 90-day suspension imposed by the FIFA ethics committee, Blatter was told by doctors to take some time off work. 

His spokesman Klaus Stölhker told Reuters TV that Blatter has recovered and is confident that he can beat the suspension.

“His most important message is that he is fully preparing himself to go ahead with his fight against his 90-day suspension. He is deeply convinced that the ethics commission cannot force him out,” Stöhlker said.

Blatter is the pillar in the corruption scandal surrounding FIFA. The suspended president is being investigated not only by the ethics committee but also by Swiss authorities, who suspect Blatter to be guilty of criminal mismanagement.

The suspicions are that Blatter signed a contract “unfavorable to FIFA,” as well as made a “disloyal payment” to UEFA president Michel Platini according to the BBC. The investigation is centered around a 2 million Swiss francs ($2 million; £1.3 million) payment Blatter made to Platini in 2011.

Both men claim that the payment regards an oral agreement they had years ago for Platini working as Blatter’s adviser. 

"In any normal business, there would be a written contract," Domenico Scala, chairman of FIFA’s audit and compliance committee said. "Both parties were members of Fifa's executive committee and knowingly approved each year financial statements which were incorrect by 2m Swiss francs (£1.35m)."

"That could be seen as falsification of the accounts."

Blatter, on the other hand, claims that their oral contract is legal.

"There is an agreement, even in the Fifa regulations that a contract can be made either in writing or orally. It is an oral contract, a contract of work," he said.

A BBC report also says that the duo could be facing up to seven years of suspension if found guilty. 

Those are bad news especially for Platini, who is on the run to succeed Blatter as president of soccer’s governing body. The former French international will be unable to campaign while the ban is still in place and FIFA also won’t be able to recognize his candidacy during this period.

Nevertheless, both men are still confident that Platini will be the next FIFA president.

"I don't think I have lost many votes with these scandals," Platini said. "People who know me know that I can look myself in the mirror."

"I don't like to lose. Especially not on the basis of a scandal that isn't one."

“Platini is an honest man,” Blatter said. “If he comes back, he will be elected. And then [if] he comes back, I will return too.”

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