Entertainment

The World Isn't The Same As It Was The Last Time The U.S. Lost

The world has changed a lot since the U.S. Men’s National Team last lost a match on Nov. 15, a dark time for America. For starters, the United States saw a great man who has accomplished so much throughout the world replaced by a goofy New Yorker with awful hair. We’re talking about Jurgen Klinsmann making way for Bruce Arena, of course.

The U.S. has gone on a 14-match unbeaten streak fueled by Christian Pulisic, Michael Bradley, Clint Dempsey, Tim Howard and Arena joining together like some sort of Saturday morning cartoon. Heading into vital World Cup qualifiers over the next week, they’ve won five straight and nine of their last 14. 

The U.S. hosts Costa Rica at Red Bull Arena in Harrison, New Jersey, on Friday. The same Costa Rica trounced Team USA 4-0 to spell the end of the Klinsmann era. In case you’ve been asleep for the last 9.5 months (and we wouldn’t blame you if you had), here’s a quick month-by-month rundown of what has happened since the last U.S. loss.

December

Cristiano Ronaldo scored a hat trick as Real Madrid beat Kashima Antlers 4-2 in extra time to win the Club World Cup and be crowned the best team in the world.

President-elect and soon-to-be most powerful man in the world Donald Trump hung out at Trump Tower. People went nuts.

 

January
Julian Draxler

Julian Draxler moved to PSG in January. 

@footie_gossip | Twitter

Julian Draxler moved to Paris and Gabriel Jesus moved to Manchester.

Donald Trump moved into the White House. His inauguration crowd size was either huge or tiny. People went nuts.

February

Arsenal suffered the first of two 5-1 defeats to Bayern Munich to once again be dumped out of the Champions League in the Round of 16. People went nuts. 

President Trump went to Florida with the Japanese Prime Minister. People went nuts. 

March

Leicester City reached the quarterfinals of the Champions League before flaming out to Atletico Madrid.

Rachel Maddow revealed a tiny, unimportant part of President Trump’s taxes. Nobody went nuts.

 

April

Lionel Messi scored two goals in a 3-2 win over Real Madrid in El Clasico, including a dramatic late goal. 

President Trump ate some chocolate cake. You have no idea how delicious it was. People went nuts. 

May
Monaco

Monaco won the Ligue 1 title in May. 

@MirrorFootball | Twitter

Chelsea won the Premier League by seven points over Tottenham. But Arsenal beat Chelsea to win the FA Cup, which is totally more important. More importantly, Monaco won Ligue 1. 

President Trump wished Walter Skinner was the FBI director. People went nuts. 

June

Christian Pulisic proved he’s the greatest soccer person ever by scoring two goals in a 2-0 win over Trinidad & Tobago in a World Cup qualifier. Some team named Real Madrid won the Champions League again. 

President Trump didn’t think it was that hot outside. People went nuts. 

 

July

Germany won the Confederations Cup despite fielding what was essentially a youth team. 

President Trump said his son is concerned about Russian adoption. People went nuts. 

August
Neymar

Neymar transfered to PSG in August. 

@SoccerEvolution | Twitter

Paris Saint-Germain purchases Neymar from Barcelona for approximately the GDP of Australia. 

Trump did a thing. People went nuts. 

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