WTF

Miserable August Sees Colorado Hand Player Of The Month Award To A Supporters’ Group

The Colorado Rapids played five matches in the month of August, losing three, drawing two and getting outscored 9-4 in the process. The most devastating defeat took place on August 26 during MLS’s Rivalry Week. The Rapids traveled to Utah to play Real Salt Lake and got rocked, 4-1.

With 22 points from 25 matches, Colorado are the worst club in all of MLS, and the club’s horrid August was mirrored in their voting for the HealthONE Player of the Month award.

Watch The Brawl That Triggered The Record For The Most Red Cards Ever Shown

You know a dirty game when you see one. Players go flying into tackles, things get chippy and the referee absolutely loses control of the match. Two or three red cards in a match is enough to make people cringe, but how about 36?

No, that’s not a typo — 36 red cards. In one game.

Arsenal Fan Sings Godawful Song In Hopes Of Making Alexis Sanchez Stay

Paraguay Capture A Chilean Spy Filming Their Tactical Training Session

It’s do or die time in South American World Cup qualifying, and Thursday features some all-important matches between Uruguay-Argentina, Brazil-Ecuador and Chile-Paraguay. For Chile and Paraguay, the stakes couldn’t be higher.

Paraguay’s World Cup hopes are hanging by a thread with only four matchdays remaining. Defeat at the Estadio Monumental in the Chilean capital of Santiago would essentially put an end to any hopes of participating in Russia, but Los Guaranies can take heart from the fact that they defeated La Roja 2-1 in their last encounter.

Football’s Most Influential Agent Thinks Messi Needs A Transfer To Prove His Greatness

Mino Raiola, the footballing super agent with a clientele list including Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Paul Pogba, Romelu Lukaku and Gianluigi Donnarumma, believes that Lionel Messi must leave Barcelona to show the world that he’s good at football.

10 Truly Bizarre Stadium Features That You’ll Need To Sample

Ah, the modern stadium. As the governor of St. Louis so eloquently put it, “welfare for millionaires.” In place of standing-room only paddocks exposed to inclement weather, we now have free universal wi-fi, luxury suites that place you next to the players and concession prices that’ll cause your rent check to bounce.

Fan-tastic. But it’s not all doom and gloom. Some features of modern stadiums are simply breathtaking or incredibly well-reasoned. Alas, some older grounds also boast truly unique features that make them a cut above the rest of the cookies. 

This Free Kick Makes It Painfully Clear How Important A Good Wall Is

FK Sloboda is a football club and not in the construction business. This was apparent Sunday when building a wall to defend a free kick against HŠK Zrinjski in the Premier League of Bosnia & Herzegovina.

Thanks to state-of-the-art microphone technology, we were able to pick up on the conversation that went on as Sloboda planned out its strategy.

“Everybody listen up. I have the best plan, the greatest plan, a better plan than any of the tacticians in Italy or England could think up.”

“OK skipper, what have you got in mind for defending this free kick?”

Notts County’s Matt Tootle Just Wants To Know Why They Never Play Nightcrawlers Anymore

Notts County scores. Darkness falls and magic stirs as Matt Tootle becomes a creature of the night — a nightcrawler! But it looks like it’s time for an intervention with the rest of his teammates, because they just don’t look interested in joining Tootle for a quick game.

Nightcrawlers is just what it sounds like, it’s a game where you crawl around like worms in the night, mining minerals under the bed while using your imagination. Tootle clearly knows what’s up. 

Marko Arnautović Wins Red Card Award For Outstanding Sportsmanship

Last week, Jonjo Shelvey revealed himself to be the thinking man of the Premier League when he stomped on Dele Alli's ankle in plain sight of the referee, presumably after running the idea by his good friend Potato Brain. It was a true display of intellect, the likes of which we thought we would never see again.

Oh happy day, we were wrong.

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