Luis Suarez

Luis Suarez Should Quit Soccer And Fulfill His Destiny As The Third Property Brother

Luis Suarez is having a time of it this season, and we think it might be time for him to try something new.

One goal in 10 Champions League appearances just isn't going to cut it for Barcelona (his record is much better in La Liga, to be fair), so Suarez should cut his losses now and retire from soccer to fulfill his destiny as the third property brother.

Tell me with a straight face Lucho shouldn't be sitting in a chair next to these two talking about how biting people affected his career in real estate. You can't.

Roma Suffer Quintessential Roma Defeat At The Camp Nou

If you would’ve offered AS Roma manager Eusebio Di Francesco a Camp Nou first leg in which Lionel Messi is limited to naught, Di Francesco probably would’ve broken your hand in agreement. And then you’d have to inform him that his side would still lose 4-1. 

Roma still have an opportunity to shock the world at the Stadio Olimpico in the return leg thanks to Eden Dzeko’s conciliatory away goal, but the club from the Eternal City is more realistically doomed after conceding four goals to a superior opponent. 

If Messi Scores Like This In LaLiga, What Would He Do In MLS?

At around the same time that Zlatan Ibrahimovic made his MLS debut for the LA Galaxy on Saturday, scoring a late equalizer and then game-winner in dramatic fashion, another football icon made a late entrance and saved the day. In this case, the player was Lionel Messi and the circumstance was a two-goal deficit against Sevilla, an unbeaten season on the line.

Watch Luis Suarez Create Barcelona’s Second Goal Without Touching The Ball

Lionel Messi scored the opener before Chelsea really touched the ball. Luis Suarez created Barcelona's second without touching the ball. Ousmane Dembele put Barcelona up 2-0 in the 20th minute on Wednesday, putting the Blaugrana up 3-1 on aggregate in their Champions League Round of 16 tie, and Suarez deserves much of the credit. 

Luis Suárez intenta obtener una tarjeta amarilla, el árbitro se rehúsa a dársela

Aquí tenemos un período de cinco días tan Luis Suárez que incluso Luis Suárez lo llamaría un cliché. El martes pasado, el delantero uruguayo entró en el minuto 76 del empate 1-1 del Barcelona con el Chelsea. Suárez recibió la amarilla después de que Lionel Messi se enfrentara al juez de línea.

El jugador de 31 años estaba girando en el suelo, gritando por un penal cuando Messi convirtió el ingenioso pase de Andrés Iniesta en un gol vital para el Barca. Suárez se levantó como si nada, se burló del juez de línea y se fue corriendo para celebrar. Luego lo amonestaron.  

Coutinho Scores His First Right-Footed Thunderbolt As A Barcelona Player

Like a good band, Barcelona played all the hits in their 6-1 demolition of Girona on Saturday, surely a treat for anyone seeing them live for the first time (I hate you Bryce I hate you so much).

They opened with Lionel Messi assisting Luis Suarez:

Messi’s Inch-Perfect Through Ball Sets Up Suarez For Barca Game-Winner

Barcelona opened a 10-point lead at the top of La Liga with a 2-0 victory over Eibar, although Atletico Madrid can again reduce the gap when they host Athletic Bilbao Sunday. The game-winner was scored by Luis Suarez — his 17th in 21 league matches — in the 16th minute after the Uruguayan striker was played through by an inch-perfect ball from Lionel Messi.

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