Hat Trick

At Celtic, Swedish striker Henrik Larsson was known as the King of Goals.

Call 20-year-old Frenchman Moussa Dembele the Prince.

For the second consecutive week, Dembele, on whom the Hoops have reportedly slapped a £40 million price tag in response to interest from EPL clubs like Chelsea, netted a hat trick, this time against Inverness Caledonian Thistle in a fifth round Scottish Cup tie on Saturday. The haul brings his season total in all competitions to 26.

Here’s goal No. 1:

After today's Atletico Madrid vs Real Madrid derby, many of you may be asking, "Exactly how many hat-tricks does Cristiano Ronaldo have?"

You may also be asking, "Can anyone else score for Real Madrid?"

The answer to these questions is, respectively, a sh*t ton and no. To put it in perspective, Ronaldo is scoring hat-tricks at the same rate at which I consume breakfast sandwiches. Which is to say, very frequently.

Here's how it breaks down.

Stjepan Lucijanic looks like a bus driver, but he just set one of the most impressive records in soccer.

Lucijanic plays for NK Dracice Dakovo in the Croatian seventh division, and he scored a hat trick (or more) in five straight matches recently, breaking an 18-year-old record held by Japanese forward Masashija Nakayamu. Overall, Lucijanic scored 20 goals in the five games.

This isn't even the only cool thing Lucijanic has done on a soccer field. Earlier this season he scored six (six!) goals in one match, and one time he scored 12 seconds into a match.

Friday's game between Hertha Berlin and Borussia Monchengladbach was filled with fouls, cards and injuries. Salomon Kalou led his team to victory by scoring three goals, continuing his fine form since leaving Chelsea.

Warning: please do not continue reading this article or scroll down if you do not want to see a gross soccer fan butt. Thank you.

Cristiano Ronaldo continued his run of good form Saturday against Alaves, scoring three goals in a 4-1 victory.

One Alaves fan wasn't impressed, or maybe was really super impressed, or not impressed at all with his side's defending, or just really hot, or hot for Cristiano Ronaldo, or really confused and didn't know what else to do.

Recently, Portugal star Cristiano Ronaldo has been the subject of intense scrutiny, with critics claiming that the two time Ballon d'Or winner has lost a step.

In true superstar fashion, Ronaldo didn’t spend time complaining in the media like Madrid captain Sergio Ramos, but instead fired back at critics with a convincing four-goal performance, just one goal shy of Portugal’s record for goals in a game. This game marks his 42nd career hat trick, as the Portuguese star showed that he is still one of the best.

Celtic’s star-in-the-making striker Moussa Dembele netted three goals on Saturday, helping the Hoops to a 5-1 over Old Firm rivals Rangers at Celtic Park.

But while Dembele, who signed from Fulham over the summer, may have dominated the first Glasgow Derby in four years, he is hardly the first multi-goal hero for the Bhoys in the history of the Old Firm.

In fact, the Frenchman, who idolizes Thierry Henry and Nicolas Anelka, is only the latest goal poacher. Here are some of the most notable goal-scoring efforts for Celtic in Old Firm History:

Medi Dresevic, a defender who plays in the Swedish lower leagues, scored a hat trick earlier this week. After he scored the hat trick, he celebrated. After he celebrated, he got sent off. 

Really! The ref deemed Dresevic's celebration excessive and gave him a second yellow.