Fails

Oh, goodness. Something bad happened here. This guy might be the worst teammate ever.

There's a phrase used in nearly every sport by nearly every coach at some point. That phrase is "head on a swivel." When someone tells you to keep your head on a swivel, that means you need to be more aware of your surroundings.

Li Jianbin did not have his head on a swivel here, as he went up to attempt a bicycle kick. 

These two guys make up the worst medics ever. They shouldn't even qualify as medics. They clearly don’t get it. They don’t even want to get it by the looks of it. They are medical help at a Greek second division game between Ergotelis and AE Larissa, and they — I mean come on, just look at them, they can’t even carry a stretcher. 

There’s something charming about a local soccer match. The stands are somewhat full. Everyone knows a good amount of everyone else. The sun is shining. Everyone’s hanging out — a game of soccer might break out sooner rather than later. And that’s no indictment to the quality of the teams in this next video. It just seems like they are participating in a very laid back game. Why do I think that, you ask? Well, considering at one point the soccer ball breaks a window, and no one, not even the couple who owns the window, makes a fuss about it, “laid back” is nothing if not appropriate. 

Robin van Persie used to be good at soccer. No really, he did. That, however, seems like a long time ago, especially after the events of this past weekend. It seems he has scored what looks at first glance to be an intentional own goal, but in reality, he’s just a pitiful fool. Not sure if that’s any better.

For a moment, Gonzalo Bueno on the Uruguayan U20 national team saw his dreams laid out in front of him. He got on the end of a perfect pass, played it brilliantly, got past a defender and a goalkeeper without even touching the ball. The net was gaping and it must have felt like something out of a childhood fantasy. Perhaps that thought was too mesmerizing, because instead of scoring, he made a fool of himself.

A phantom goal sounds like a power up in Mario Soccer (or should I say Super Mario Strikers), as in it sounds like the ball turned into some sort of ghost and diffused into the back of the net. It sounds pretty sweet, really, but sadly there are no ghosts involved in this real life phantom goal. 

It was scored by Bayer Leverkusen’s Stefan Kiessling against Hoffenheim in the Bundesliga, and while there are no ghosts, it certainly seems to defy explanation at first. 

All of you remember Lionel Messi’s goal against Bayern Munich in last year’s Champions League semifinals. It was an absolute destruction of one of the world’s best teams, and arguably the greatest goal Messi ever scored. You might be surprised to find out that Ronaldo had a similar goal. It was the best Ronaldo goal ever scored, or it would have been, had it counted. 

Here at The18, we are fully aware that most people who don’t like soccer can count the tendency of players to “make the most” out of contact among the reasons that they don’t like the game.

You know, someone gets a kick to the back to the leg — a foul definitely, but nothing crazy — and all of the sudden they are rolling 10 feet along the ground. It’s annoying, even for a seasoned fan. So, the following video probably won’t convert many people to the game…

Sergio Aguero is a frustrating striker for Manchester City fans. He’s ridiculously good when he’s on form, but he just isn’t on form all that often. Injuries have often been to blame, but that doesn’t make him any less inconsistent.