Upsets

In the wake of Manchester United’s Champions League exit, we were treated to a plethora of listicles analyzing who should be shown the door at Old Trafford. After today’s historic 4-0 defeat to Everton, it’s clear that a much easier question is simply who stays. 

The match was a masterclass in the various United shortcomings that’ve gripped the inter webs over the last year or two: How does the third-richest club in the world boast a center pairing of Chris Smalling and Phil Jones? Does Anthony Martial not give a shit to the point of constipation? Who is Fred?

The Ajax love-in shows no sign of abating following Tuesday’s incredible 2-1 victory over Juventus in Turin. The party in Amsterdam raged through the night, while over in Italy Juventus business shares plummeted as much as a quarter in value. 

Ajax has advanced to the semifinals of the Champions League for the first time since 1997 after tearing Juventus apart with a glorious second-half display of footballing excellence that ultimately yielded the game-winning goal from captain Matthijs de Ligt in the 67th minute.

The Amsterdam-based club scored two at Juventus Stadium — which is an exceptionally rare feat for an away side — but it could’ve been four or five but for the goalkeeping of Wojciech Szczesny and an Ajax desire to combine on six backheels and three disguised reverse passes within the box before every shot. 

A meeting between two clubs desperate to cement commendable seasons with a shot at silverware produced a classic FA Cup semifinal today at Wembley Stadium. Wolves went 2-0 up by the 62nd minute before Watford came storming back to force extra time with a goal in the 94th minute, and then Hornets hero Gerard Deulofeu scored his second in the 104th to book his side’s passage to the final, where Manchester City awaits. 

Scottish football has been the butt of the joke in the British Isles for quite some time now. The Scottish Premier League, or SPL, has been trying to fight the stereotype that Scottish football is terrible via an active YouTube page. The Scottish national team has been including new and talented young players that ply their trade in a diverse number of high level leagues across Europe in order to show that Scottish football is indeed quality.

Having won Italy’s Serie A title for seven consecutive seasons now, it’s obvious that Juventus did not buy Cristiano Ronaldo last summer in a bid to establish domestic dominance. The Old Lady spent nearly $130 million on the 34-year-old to finally land the prize that’s eluded them since 1996, the UEFA Champions League.

As Manchester United wildly celebrated two ludicrously self-inflicted PSG errors and a contentious, VAR-influenced handball decision to advance to the last eight of Europe (we won’t begrudge Red Devil supporters after the life and times of David Moyes, LVG and Jose Mourinho, but if you thought Liverpool fans were getting annoying with the EPL title at hand, this is a stern reminder that United’s fanbase is built of the exact same stuff), PSG was left to rue another night of historical ineptitude. 

Manchester United has traveled to Paris with a midfield anchored by Scott McTominay, Andreas Pereira and Fred along with a substitutes’ bench of assorted children and overturned a 2-0 deficit to eliminate PSG from the Champions League.