Injuries

How To Build A Better Zlatan Robot

Stockholm

(At The ZlatanBot Factory)

Scientist: sir, the unit has broken down. A failure of the knee joint, apparently

Boss guy: Goddammit the warranty just expired

Other scientist: well, at least this will give us a chance to improve the unit

Zlatan: I am right here, and I can hear you. I am Zlatan, and I am already as close to perfect as can possibly exist

Scientist: well at least the hearing module still works

Other scientist: and the confidence module

Zlatan: Everything works I am Zlatan

Marc Bartra Returns To Dortmund Training After Injuring Hand In Bus Attack

Marc Bartra, the only player with serious injuries after Borussia Dortmund's team bus was bombed before their Champions League match against Monaco last month, is back in training.

Bartra's injuries were to his right hand and arm, but he and the team are lucky things weren't worse.

Zlatan Is In The U.S. To Meet With A Renowned Orthopedic Surgeon

Less than a week after suffering a torn ACL and possible damage to his PCL, Zlatan Ibrahimovic is scheduled to visit Dr. Freddie Fu at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. Dr. Fu is well known for pioneering the double bundle technique to repair ACL tears, the method that most effectively restores natural knee movement patterns.

Zlatan Says He Will Come back Stronger From His Knee Injury

Zlatan is injured. We didn't know Zlatan could get injured. We thought he was impervious to harm. We thought he was immortal. We were wrong. Zlatan is injured.

Zlatan is injured so badly it's feared his career could be over. One person, at least, doesn't think Zlatan is anywhere near the finish line. That person is Zlatan.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s Professional Career Could Be Over

“I don’t know how long I have left,” Zlatan Ibrahimovic told BT Sport prior to Manchester United’s second leg match against Anderlecht. “Rashford, Lingard have long careers in front of them. I was there 15 years ago, I don’t know how long I have left.” If the latest reports are confirmed, Zlatan Ibrahimovic has suffered a devastating knee injury that could spell the end of the 35-year-old’s career.

Giuseppe Rossi’s Hat Trick For Celta Vigo Shows His Unbreakable Spirit

As a 24-year-old, the sky was the limit for Italian American forward Giuseppe Rossi. Having come through the youth ranks at Parma and Manchester United, he was now flourishing in La Liga with Villarreal. In four seasons, he’d seen his goal totals gradually increase with the club: 13, 15, 17 and then a staggering 32 in the 2010-11 season.

Ireland vs. Wales Qualifier Overshadowed By Horror Tackle On Irish Captain Seamus Coleman

The Republic of Ireland moved level with Serbia at the top of UEFA Group D in 2018 FIFA World Cup qualifying, but the hard-earned result came with the loss of their influential captain, Everton defender Seamus Coleman. Wales’ Neil Taylor was given a straight red in the 69th-minute after going straight through Coleman’s standing leg with his studs showing.

It looked like a fractured leg, and Coleman was stretchered off while requiring oxygen. 

(WARNING: GRAPHIC)

Marco Reus Suffers Another Unfortunate Injury At The Height Of His Powers

Borussia Dortmund will be missing a key piece in their attack at the most critical point of the season as Marco Reus has sustained a thigh injury that will sideline him for a month.

Missing a world-class talent like Reus will not be good for a side that is still at risk of dropping out of the Bundesliga Champions League places. Dortmund currently sit third with only three points separating them from fifth-place Hertha Berlin.

Just look at what Reus accomplished in his final 100 minutes before injury:

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