Goals

Siphiwe Tshabalala, owner of one of the world's most enjoyable-to-say names, scorer of the opening goal of the 2010 World Cup, has gone and scored one of the most absurd goals we have seen since...well, in a while.

Hoo, boy! What a rip.

We don't really have anything to add, save our love of saying "Tshabalala."

Tshabalala.

Tshabalala.

Sheffield Wednesday isn't a name people generally associate with amazing goals, and Marco Matias is a name that most people likely haven't even heard of, but Marco Matias scored a contender for goal of the year in Sheffield Wednesday's 1-1 draw with Leeds United.

Evidently the match had been fairly pedestrian before the goal, so match attendees should be glad Matias was there to make sure they got their money's worth.

When we were 12 years old, we were just satisfied with putting the ball in the back of the net, no matter how it happened. Honestly, we were six years away from playing soccer like bees play tag. In the rare instance that one of us scored something that took any amount of skill, we we’re f***ing pumped.

Sometimes you just gotta take it and run, whatever “it” may be, and that is what Michail Antonio did when he picked up the ball around midfield against Walsall. Only, instead of, you know, making himself look like a douche by running past one defender only to get shut down by the next, he went all the way and scored an absolutely brilliant goal. 

A moment of real inspiration is hard to come by. The factors that go into making your mind light up and burn with the energy of a new idea or realization are so enigmatic that people spend their entire lives searching for them; the driving thought being that eternal success has at its heart the ability to be constantly inspired. This chase is as present in soccer as it is in any other vocation. 

I wonder what was going through the mind of ADO goal keeper Martin Hansen before his teammate swung in a free kick in the 95th minute of ADO vs PSV. Was he thinking of glory? Maybe he was just hoping dearly that the ball wouldn’t fly anywhere close to him — actually scratch that. There is absolutely no way Hansen does what you are about to witness if he is thinking, “Oh God, please just not me.”

Martin Hansen just scored the front runner for the goal of the year, and he did it in stoppage time to tie the game, as a goal keeper…with a flying back heel. 

Philippe Coutinho seems to defy the laws of physics whenever he scores. That might not make sense if he was another player, but he’s not; he’s Philippe Coutinho: the man who cannot score an average goal. 

Honestly, last year he made a habit of scoring from the other side of nowhere, and this year he’s just doing more of the glorious same.  

A few months ago, Crystal Dunn of the Washington Spirit was left off of the USWNT, and she hasn’t let anyone forget about it since. She currently is the highest scorer in the NWSl with 12 goals in 14 games, and she showed she thoroughly deserved that being in that position with her performance against the Houston Dash this past weekend.