This Passage Of Play In The Netherlands Would Make Pep Guardiola Tear Out His Own Eyeballs With His Bare Hands

That is Feyenoord and Utrecht trying their best in the Eredivisie. Lest you think this was just a Sunday League kickabout, Robin van Persie appeared in this game.

Pep Guardiola watched that video and this is what happened:

Yes, upon seeing that, Guardiola's face melted. Then, he gathered the face sludge in his hand and mashed it back onto his skull in a close-enough approximation of his original face. Then he skittered off somewhere.

Guardiola is still unaccounted for. If you see him, approach him slowly and show him some soothing videos of Xavi until he calms down.