Sergio Ramos Pooped His Pants
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Discerning viewers may have noticed Sergio Ramos disappeared for a bit near the end of Real Madrid's 2-1 win over Eibar Saturday. Madrid had used all their subs, so Ramos was not replaced when he came off. He simply vanished.
Madrid manager Zinedine Zidane offered some clarification after the game: Ramos pooped his pants a little bit and had to disappear to the dressing room to make sure he didn't finish the job out on the field.
“He s*** himself a bit!”Zinedine Zidane has revealed the reason behind Sergio Ramos' impromptu break during Real Madrid's 2-1 win over Eibar in La Liga. pic.twitter.com/WeioRsiX59
— Goal (@goal) March 10, 2018
If Ramos's Real Madrid teammates do not put Depends-brand adult diapers in his locker every day from now until the end of his career, they will have failed you, me, the general soccer-liking public, the gods of comedy and the moral universe as we know it.
We expect an elite manager like Zinedine Zidane to be able to at least potty-train one of his players. If he can't complete this one simple task we might have to re-examine the idea that Zidane is a figurehead manager.