Two Minutes Of Luis Suarez Gold, Including Great Goal And Death By Phantom Sniper

Luis Suarez encapsulated his entire playing style in a two-minute period during Saturday’s El Clasico.

On the pitch, Luis Suarez is insane. It’s part and parcel of his playing style. He doesn’t offer the aesthetic subtleties of his Barcelona teammates, but instead harnesses the inner energies of a footballing Babadook to terrorize defenses with whatever means are at his disposal.

During Saturday’s El Clasico, there was a two-minute spell — between the match’s 54th and 56th minutes — that brilliantly encapsulated the art of Suarez. 

In the 54th minute, Suarez discreetly drifted in from the left-hand side of Barcelona’s attack as Ivan Rakitic drove at the heart of Real’s defense. By the time Rakitic fed the surging Sergi Roberto on the right, Suarez had put himself in an onside and completely unmarked position only a couple yards outside of Keylor Navas’ goal box. 

Roberto laid it on a platter, and Suarez made no mistake with a right-footed effort swept in first time. It was a fantastic team goal with Suarez playing his part admirably.   

Only two minutes later, we saw the less savory side of Suarez’s play. Real Madrid supporters will be filled with hatred. Barcelona supporters will see no evil, hear no evil. Neutrals will laugh their asses off. 

With Suarez looking to relieve a bit of pressure in Barca’s own half as an outlet, the Uruguayan went after a ball near the sideline with Real’s Casemiro. Suarez sized Casemiro up, made no attempt to play the ball and just trucked Casemiro to the ground while rolling over the top of him.

Undoubtedly realizing that he was entirely in the wrong here, Suarez rolled twice while screaming bloody murder and signaling to the heavens for divine assistance. He was fine, by the way. 

In an El Clasico largely unsullied by histrionics and shameful playacting, Suarez still characteristically provided us with that moment of madness (unless you think it was Dani Carvajal’s wonder save).