Entertainment

What If The Gold Cup Semifinals Are Lit?

The CONCACAF Gold Cup, a marketing scheme disguised as a soccer tournament that not even the participants care about, is entering the semi-final stage. So far, there has not been much in the way of "good soccer" and only a little bit more "entertainment value."

Sure, Jozy Altidore got his nipple twisted and Florent Malouda played even though he was ineligible, but those are minor distractions at best, not the sorts of things that will capture one's attention through an entire soccer tournament unless they happen every ten minutes. They are not happening every ten minutes.

Most of the games at the CONCACAF Gold Cup have been devoid of anything resembling attacking play, low scoring affairs. But what if they weren't? What if, in the semifinals, Costa Rica forgets how organized its defense is supposed to be and lets Bryan Ruiz do whatever he wants? What if Darlington Nagbe, Michael Bradley, Jozy Altidore and Clint Dempsey showcase the interplay they were ostensibly brought in to provide? What if Mexico and Jamaica both forget what happened in their group stage match and turn their semifinal into a track meet?

 

That would certainly be lit, and it could even be enough to save the Gold Cup if it happened. Maybe we'll get a spiritual repeat of the epic Mexico-Trinidad & Tobago match at the 2015 Gold Cup. I wouldn't mind that at all. Something like USA 4-Costa Rica 3 and Mexico 3-Jamaica 2 would capture my attention.

I mean, pretty much everyone left is playing some version of their B team, so who cares who wins the whole thing? Let the horses out of the barn! As marketing exercises go, the 2017 Gold Cup is not a very good one, because most everyone hates it. Even the people who are paid money to cover the tournament are bored. It is not good when the people who are paid money to cover your product are bored with your product.

There is still time to rectify the situation, though. Save us, CONCACAF Gold Cup. Make the semifinals lit.

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